


The flight of my life

by itsallinthemusic



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Innocent Niall, M/M, Niall-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-16 20:46:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2283966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsallinthemusic/pseuds/itsallinthemusic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall is taking a huge step in his life, he is leaving everthing behind and is about to start a new life in London. But first he need to get over one of his biggest fears, flying. And what will he do when the person who did make his flight even worse is one of the best mates of his new friendly neighbour?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the mistakes, Englisch isn't my native language. I already have 20 chapters done and my writing had improved. I will see how often I post a new chapter :). Hope you will enjoy it and please leave a comment :). Xx

This is it, I’m about to take the flight of my life. Saying I’m afraid is an understatement. Not only I have to spend about an hour in a thing that can just fall out of the air, but I’m also leaving everything behind and starting a whole new life. Well, I will start that new life, if I’m going to live this flight from Dublin to London. I’m trying to compose myself, I really do, but I just can’t stop thinking about not making it out alive. I checked my watch for like the 50th time since I got through the customs. Still 45 minutes until boarding. I just don’t know what to do with myself and I’m feeling I start to panic. ‘Just do what you have learned Niall’, I muttered to myself. Deep breaths in to your nose a out through your mouth. Just when I close my eyes to calm myself more I heard two voices getting closer and they stop right next to me. I feel a hand on my shoulder and a deep voice asking me: ‘Are you allright? You look a bit pale.’   
I shuddered under the touch, one thing I learned during this attacks, is that no one should touch me because it will only make it worse. I shrugged the hand of my shoulder and nodded. I still hadn’t opened my eyes, because when I do, I’m afraid I really start to panic and I can’t let that happen, not now.   
‘Are you sure?’ I heard the same voice asking me, ‘It looks to me, you can faint any minute.’ I  
slowly opened my eyes and I saw a mop of curls right in front of me and I immediately shut them again. There were way too many people surrounding me. How the hell am I going to survive the flight, if I can’t even cope with this? I knew the answer, I can’t. I needed to get out of here as soon as possible. I stand up, grab my bag and launch forward, still with my eyes closed. That really wasn’t the smartest idea, I feel myself falling forward and I feel I take something or someone with me. I heared worried voices around me and a chuckle right under me. I peek through my eyelashes and I see a face with the same curls surrounding it, as the curls I saw when I opened my eyes when I tried to say I was all right.   
‘If you don’t mind, I would like to breathe a little’, I hear the same deep voice telling me.   
But I can’t move, cause I know when I do, I’ll see all the people who are surrounding us now, and that won’t be good. So instead of standing up I mumble ‘Sorry, I can’t’.   
‘Of course you can, just open your eyes and stand up’.   
‘You don’t understand’ I say in quite voice, not even realized I closed my eyes again.   
‘Hey Harry, you okay there? What did that guy to do you? You need any help?’ I hear someone scream next to my ear. This voice isn’t as deep as the voice the Harry guy has, but it’s definitely from a guy. I feel two hands gently pushing at my shoulders and I roll off of him, still with my eyes closed. I can feel the Harry guy standing up next to me when he speaks: ‘No it’s okay Lou, but I think this guy could need some help, look how pale he is.’   
I try to sit op and I put my arms around my knees, my head pressed in between them. ‘Come on Niall, you can do this, there’s nothing scary. There are only a few people, nothing can happen, you are not in the plain yet’. I feel myself calming down when I rocking myself back and forth. Again I feel two hands at my shoulders, but these are much softer.   
‘You think you are able to stand up, or at least can open your eyes?’ I hear a soft, but slightly deep voice asking me. I think it’s the voice from the other one, Lou or something like that. I slowly open my eyes and I see a pair of blue eyes looking concerned down at me. I take a deep breath and try to stand up. I feel his hands supporting me and lead me to seat I was previously in.   
‘Hey, you are alright mate?’ He asked with a concerned look on his face.   
‘Yes I am, or I will be, I guess’. I feel my cheeks reddening, when I hear me voice crack a little. This is so embarrassing!!  
‘Are you sure?’ The Lou guy asked again.   
‘Yes I’m sure, I only panicked a bit, but I guess I’m okay now’ I said with more confidence this time. He looked at me with a strange look on his face, and he shrugged. ‘Okay then, have a save flight’ He said while he turned away. ‘  
Thanks’ I muttered ‘you too’.  
‘Crap, the flight’ I thought to myself. And just when I feel the panic coming up again, I hear a female voice through the speakers ‘Passengers for flight 10987 from Dublin to London Heathrow, we are now ready to board.’ I hear several people standing up and when I glance up, I see the two boys walking to the gate, happily chatting but also with a concerned look on their faces when their eyes met mine. I quickly looked away.   
This is it Niall, you can do it! I take a deep breath and once again I grab my bags, but this time with my eyes open.


	2. chapter 2

I walked in the queue and waited till it was my turn. I gave my ticket and my passport to get checked with shaking hands. I fell my hands become sweaty again. ‘No no no no no’ I whispered to myself, ‘I can’t let this happen.’ I took a few breaths and walked in to the plane. I said hi to the flight attendants and let her see my ticket for my seat. It isn’t a really big plane, 3 seats at every side. My seat is almost at the end and to my relieve next to the aisle. 

‘Well, at least I don’t see the ground coming to me when we crash’ I mumbled to myself. It’s only when I sat and put my bag under the chair in front of me, that I saw the person who I’m sitting next too. It’s Harry, the guy with the curls who I fell on and next to him, by the window is Lou, the guy who helped me up and guided me to my seat. ‘Ow great, just what I need, like I haven’t humiliated myself enough.’ I thought to myself. I tried to ignore the stares from both of them while I tried to get comfortable in my seat. I closed my eyes and started my mantra in my head ‘Planes are saver than cars, planes are saver than cars, planes are saver save than cars’. But I got interrupted by one of the flight attendants, who started to explain about the safety procedures at the plane. ‘Why are there even life jackets on board, when we hit the water we are most likely death’ I muttered to myself. 

‘What did you say?’ Harry chuckled besides me.   
‘Huh what?’ I asked confused.  
‘What did you say about life jackets and being death?’ He chuckled again.  
‘Ow uhm, why are there life jackets when water is even harder as a rock, we will be death the minute we hit the water’. I explained with a small voice.  
At that moment I felt the plane moving, my whole body tensed up and I closed my eyes again. ‘Deep breaths in and deep breaths out, it’s going to be okay, it has to be!! ’ I thought to myself.

‘Hey relax, we’re not even flying yet, you really don’t like it, do you?’ He asked a bit concerned.   
I left out a deep sigh ‘is it that obvious? I’m scared to death.’ I said through gritted teeth, still with my eyes closed.  
‘You know traveling by plane is the safest way to travel? You have more changes to get in a car crash than in an airplane crash.’ He said serious.  
‘Hmhm’ was the only thing I could get out of my mouth.  
‘Harreeeeh,’ I heard Lou say, a bit annoyed. ‘I’m sitting here you know.’  
‘Louis, stop acting like a child, I was only chatting a bit with…, What’s your name?’   
‘Niall’, I whispered, so only he could hear it.  
‘Niall here.’ He continued to Lou, or Louis, whatever his name was.   
‘I’m Harry by the way, and the little whining child next to me is Louis’  
‘Hey, I’m not a little whiny child, actually I’m two years older, thank you very much!!’  
‘Yeah, yeah, well start acting like it then.’  
‘Ouch, why would you slap me on the back of my head, this is exactly what I meant with you being a kid!! You’re so going to pay for this Tomlinson!!’  
‘Ow yeah, and how would you do that?’ I heard Louis smirking.  
And right after that I heard him squealing, I peeked through my eyelashes and I saw Louis was being under attack by Harry, tickling him in his sides. ‘Harry, please stop!!’ He managed to say. ‘Say you are sorry’ ‘Okay okay, I’m sorry, I will never ever slap you on the head again.’   
‘And?’ Harry asked, still tickling him.  
‘And, I will try to not act like a kid anymore.’  
‘Good boy’ Harry said while tapping him on the head, ‘But lets see how long you can keep up with that’ He chuckled afterwards.

I laughed silently, but I guess not silent enough cause I heard Louis say harsh. ‘What are you laughing at?’  
‘Ow uhm, nothing’ I muttered, feeling my cheeks turning red and quickly closing my eyes again.  
Suddenly I felt the plane making speed, and my stomach clung together. I put my head against the head support, I squeezed my eyes shut so hard, it almost hurt and tried to keep calm. I felt tears coming up, but I tried to push them away. This was really not the time to cry. Niall remember ‘planes are saver than cars, planes are saver save than cars.’ During all this I still heart the bantering between the other two boys. Suddenly the plane started to shake and I couldn’t take it in anymore. The tears started to stream down my face. I know for sure, this is it, I’m going to die, right here, right now. Sobs started to escape my mouth until I heared a reassuring voice next to me. ‘Niall, it’s okay, we only went through the clouds, it’s only some turbulence. It already stopped. Please calm down.’

‘Harry, leave the kid alone and look outside the window, it’s beautiful!’ I heared Louis say.  
‘Louis, shut up, can’t you see he is terrified!’ and his attention was back to me. ‘Niall, stop shaking, it’s okay, open your eyes and you will see everything is okay.’   
I slowly opened my eyes, and the only thing what was still shaking were my hands. I kept my head down, cause no way I was going to look at anyone after that horrible breakdown. I wiped my tears away with my sleeve and tried to compose my breaths.   
‘Hey Niall, look at me,’ Harry said, ‘You are going to be okay, nothing is going to happen on this flight.’ I still refused to look at him but I noded lightly. Why is this happening to me? Why am I crying like a baby due some stupid turbulence? Why in the first place I got that panic attack? How the hell did I even think I would be able to do this? What has gotten in to me? This whole thing is going to be a disaster. If I survive this flight, I’m sure as hell will never be able to start a new life in London, on my own.’ I thought. And again I felt the tears leaking down my cheeks. I turned my head away from Harry and closed my eyes again.   
I heard Harry and Louis fight whispering next to me: ‘Harry, just let that kid be, you don’t even know him. I’m sure he’s just overreacting and likes the attention.’ ‘Louis said through gridded teeth’  
‘Louis’, Harry whisper yelled. ‘How can you say that!! Look how miserable he looks!’  
‘Well that’s his own problem, not yours or mine. Just enjoy the view.’ Louis said with an annoying voice. ‘The real question here is, Louis, what is YOUR problem, are you jealous or something?’ Harry spat back.   
And that’s the last thing I heard before I drifted in to a sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all like it :). Xx


	3. chapter 3

I woke up by something poking in my cheeks. I felt my hand was supporting my head, but I didn’t quite understood what was going on. And again I felt something poking my cheek. And suddenly everything came back. The breakdown at the airport, the breakdown in the plane, the two boys and the reason why I was in that plane.  
‘OMG, why didn’t I run when I had the chance?’ I thought to myself. And again, there was that annoying thing poking my cheek. I groaned and turned my head around. That’s when I heard an annoying voice: ’Niaaaallll, are you awake? Are you sure you still strapped in properbly?’   
‘W what?’ I stuttered confused.   
‘Are you sure you still strapped in? Because we are getting turbulence again.’ Someone whispered in my ear. ‘Did you check your life jacked?’ The voice said in a honey sweet voice. ‘We are flying over the sea right now…’   
A shiver ran down my spine, and I tried to get away from the voice. I knew this wasn’t Harry, so it must be Louis. ‘Why is he doing this to me? Seeing my cry two times isn’t enough? Does he like scaring random people to death, or is it just me?’ 

I peeked through my eyelashes and tried to gave him a death stare. But when I saw his facial expression, I know it didn’t worked. A grin spread over his face, and it wasn’t a nice one.  
‘Why are you acting like such a baby? It’s just a flight, or do you just like the attention.’ I turned my head away and tried to block him out. For the third time that day, I felt tears coming up. ‘I’m not going to cry, not because of him, I need to be strong!!’

That’s when it occurred to me, why was Louis sitting next to me? Where did Harry go. I turned my head slowly, and tried to peek around Louis, seeing if Harry was in his seat. Louis caught me watching.  
‘You must be wondering where he is? Aren’t you?’ He whispered in my ear. ‘Are that tears in your eyes, are you going to cry again, like the little baby you are.’ He whispered in my ear, still with that annoying sweet voice.  
I couldn’t take it anymore, I unbuckled my seat bell and rushed out of my seat. I saw Louis had an pleased grin on his face, when I tried to get away from him. I was about to flew to the toilets, when I saw a mop of curls looking at me with shock. Then his eyes shifted next to me and I saw anger boiling up in him. But I didn’t wait for that, I ran for the lavatory and by then the tears streamed down my face, again. I felt someone tried to grab my wrist, but I escaped. I stumbled in too the small place and locked the door behind me.  
I slit against the door on to the floor and let the sobs take over. I heard a knock on the door and a worried voice of an flight attendance asked: ‘Sir, are you alright? Sir, please answer me!’  
But I couldn’t bother to answer her. I heard another knock, stronger this time. ‘Niall, open the door, I know you are in there, I can hear your sobs!!’ Harry said in a stern voice.   
‘Never ever will I let anyone see me like this’ I thought to myself. I tried to calm down, but it didn’t worked. Another bang was at the door, much harder this time, and I shivered in fear. ‘NIALL OPEN THE DAMN DOOR NOW, OR I WILL!!’   
‘Sir calm down, or you will return to your seat!!’ The stern voice of the flight attendant said.  
‘Niall, please just open the door.’ I heard him say, a lot more calmer now.  
‘Why is he so concerned over me, he doesn’t even know me.’ I tried to stand up, the tears still falling down my eyes and I slowly unlocked the door. By the minute it was unlocked, someone jacked the door open and I felt strong arms around my waist, pulling me in too a huge chest. I started shaking and just couldn’t stop crying.  
‘Shht, it’s okay, nothing is going to happen, I’ve got you.’ Harry whispered in my ear.   
I slowly calmed down and opened my eyes.   
‘I’m sorry’ I whispered. ‘I’m sorry, I’m such a baby.  
‘He, listen to me, you are not a baby!’ He said, while pulling up my chin with his index finger so he could look me in the eyes. His eyes where soft and a beautiful green. I quickly looked away. ‘Sorry I ruined your shirt and your flight’ I whispered ashamed, since his shirt was all wet from my tears.   
‘Don’t be sorry, it’s okay, you didn't ruin anything!’ He said in a soft voice.  
‘Ladies and gentlemen, please return to your seats and put you seat belts on, we are ready for landing.’ A voice said to the intercom.  
‘Come on Niall, lets go back to our seats.’ Harry said, while he put a hand on my lower back.   
I walked with my head down, but still could feel the apologetics stares I got from the other passengers. When we returned to our seats, I stopped so Harry could sit down first.

‘Awwww, look who are back, did you enjoyed your alone time with MY friend?’ Louis sneered.   
‘Louis, what the hell is wrong with you!!’ Harry said angry.   
‘What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with YOU!! Since when do you care for total strangers‘ Louis spat.  
‘Since when did you become such an arse!!’ Harry spat back. ‘If it wasn’t for you, he probably be still asleep, but nooo, you just can’t control yourself and needed to make things worse! I’m so done with you right now Louis.’  
‘Well great, I’m done with you too Harry!!’ Louis spat back.  
During this whole fight I silently slipped in my seat an buckled up my seat belt. I closed my eyes and wished this flight was over. I never felt more embarrassed in my whole life as at that point. Not even did I humiliated myself, I also caused a fight between two friends I don’t even know. ‘Great job Horan, if this is the start of your new life, I don’t want to know what else is coming.’ I sighed and took a deep breath when the plane landed on the ground. A big relieve washed through me, at least I survived the flight. 

At the moment the seat bell sign went out, I stood up and grabbed my stuff. No way I was going to spend another minute in this plane. I elbowed my way through the people. It got me a lot off nasty looks, but also looks with pity in them from the people who saw my breakdown. I heard my name, but didn’t bother to look, cause I know it was Harry and I didn’t want to cause more trouble between the friends.   
By the time I got through the customs, the luggage was already at the roller band. Five minutes later I got my two big suitcases and was about to walk away. But two pair of eyes, from the other end of hall stopped me. One pair of eyes looked at me with a slight of sorry and pity in it, Harry. But other one got me pinned to the floor. Two icy blue eyes looked at me full of hate. It shot shivers down my spine, I quickly looked away and gulped. I knew for sure if looks could kill, I was death on the floor, right then and there.   
I walked out of the airport and hold a cap. I gave the cap driver the address and slumped at the back seat. I really wasn’t in for a talk. The only thing running through my mind was ‘What did I do to get so much hate from a guy I don’t even know.’ I really hoped I would never ever see Louis again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it :). If you want, let me know what you think of it :).  
>  Next updat will be tonight, when I'm done with work :). XX


	4. Chapter 4

The cab stopped in front of an apartment complex. This would be my house for a very long amount of time. I gave the cap driver his money and got my luggage. My apartment was at the 4th floor. And of course there wasn’t a elevator so I literally dragged everything upstairs. I got my keys out off my bag and stumbled in the little hall. I dropped everything on the floor and went to explore my apartment. It was really small, but at least is was mine. The hall came out at the living room with an little tiny kitchen attached to it. In the living room was the door to the bedroom with a little decent bathroom attached to it. Luckily everything was furnitured, so I didn’t had to worried about that. The only thing I needed to do is to put some colours on the walls to make it really mine. But that wasn’t a thing I was going to worry about right now. 

I was exhausted, literally exhausted. I slumped down on the bed. Not even bothering to get my close or even my shoes off. All the stress before the movement asked a great toll of me. And the plane flight didn’t turned out as smooth as I hoped for. What the hell happened to me right there? I knew I wasn’t the person for big crowds or small rooms. But what happened right there was out of proportion. ‘Niall, you’re such an idiot and a baby!!’ I groaned while I thought about the things that happened on the airport and airplane. I appreciated the way Harry was kind of looking after to me, but it was also really embarrassing at the same time. But why did he do that in the first place? Is wasn’t like he knew me or something. Was I really looking so vulnerable or was it something else? Maybe he was one of those guys who just wanted to take care of everyone? And that Louis guy, what the hell was his problem? And a better question, why did I let him get to me that bad? Why couldn’t I just have ignored him? You know the answer Niall, because you are a baby! Just like he said. And again, the question raised up to me: ‘What did I do to deserved that death stare he gave me?’ The shivers still rolled down my spine while I thought about that look he gave me. Whit that last image in my head I fell asleep.

I woke up a few hours later. First I didn’t recognized where I was, but soon everything came back. I looked at my watch and saw it was only 8pm. My stomach grumbled. I didn’t think I haven’t been without food for this long. I groaned by the realization I had nothing to eat. The only solution was to got up and grab some food outdoors. I got up and took a look in the mirror. The view I saw wasn’t very appealing, my blond dyed hair stood in every single direction, expect for the right one. And not even to mention my eyes, they were still red and puffy from the crying and the nap I just had. I walked down to the hallway and grabbed my luggage. I threw them on the bed and grabbed some fresh boxers, clothes, a towel and my bathroom equipments. 

The shower was long and hot and took everything out of my mind, because to be honest, I still had the last stare from Louis in my head. After I dried my hair and my body I slipped in my fresh clothes and styled my hair a little bit. I grabbed my wallet, keys and phone and walked out the door. I checked my phone and saw it was still on the airplane mode. I quickly switched it on and immediately it started buzzing. I got several texts from my mom and I quickly responded I was landed and arrived save at my apartment. After that I turned it off, cause I didn’t want to get bothered right now. I would call my mum tomorrow to tell everything, well not everything, no way I was going to tell her my breakdown. She would immediately book a flight to London or she would tried to persuade me to come back. And I didn’t want either of them to happen.

I walked down all the stairs and almost bumped in to someone. ‘Hey, can’t you watch where you are going?’ I heard a voice. I looked up and saw a guy around my age. His hair was brown and so were his eyes. ‘Ow, I’m sorry’ I mumbled, ‘I didn’t saw you.’ And I looked away.  
‘Don’t bother, it’s alright, just didn’t expect someone taken the stairs.’ He said.  
I must have had a confused expression on my face cause the guy started laughing.  
‘You must be new here’ he said when he was done laughing. ‘Because we do have a lift, but you just need to know where to look for it.’ He said in a cheeky voice.  
‘So you mean I dragged all my luggage up to the 4th floor while there is a lift?’ I groaned in frustration.   
‘Yes you did,’ the guy said with a grin. ‘I’m Liam by the way’ and he reached out his hand. I took his hand and shook it. ‘Niall’ I said with a small smile. ‘So Niall, you are from Ireland? I can tell by your accent.’ He said with a smile on his face. I nodded, I was a bit baffled how he could talk so easily to someone he just met. ‘I really need to learn that’ I thought by myself.   
‘Yes I am.’ While a blush crept on my cheeks. I really didn’t like my accent, sure in Ireland I didn’t mind, because everyone talked the same, but here it meant I stood out even more. And I really didn’t liked that.  
A silence felt between us and I glared around him. ‘Well,’ Liam said, ‘I’m going upstairs, see you around Niall. And if you need any help or someone to guide you around don’t hesitate to ask.’ He said with a confident voice and he was gone. I let out a deep breath I didn’t even know I was holding in and continued my way out of the building. 

The fresh air felt good on my skin. I walked down a couple of streets until I spotted a nice diner. I stepped in and a nice waitress leaded me to a table at the window. I ordered a burger, fish and chips and a nice cold beer. I was waiting for my order to be served and watched out the window. I was thinking about when my guitar would arrive. I couldn’t bring it with me on the plane so I send it with the mail. I really hoped they would take good care of it, because I wouldn’t know what to do without it. It’s not that I’m a really good player, but I just love to play and to get rid of all my thoughts. That’s really the only way I could truly relax, by playing the guitar, but I would never ever let anyone hear me play it. At that moment I saw a familiar mop of curls walking on the other side of the street and next to him a boy with featherly brown hair. Louis looked toward the window I was sitting and I ducked away. My heart pounded in my chest. I really wasn’t prepared for this. I heard the bell of the diner and peeked toward the door. I thought I got a heart attack and I looked at the door. But it were only two girls who entered the shop. I was still ducked away when the waitress came with the food. ‘Uhm, are you okay, I have your food.’ She said with a hesitating voice.   
I quickly looked out the window and saw the two boys walking away, still happy chatting. ‘Well, at least they didn’t saw me and they are friends again.’ I thought to myself and sighted deep.  
‘Y Yeah, I’m fine’ I stuttered and I sat up. I quickly thanked her and dug in my food. But I wasn’t that hungry anymore. I really hoped they didn’t live in this neighborhood, cause no way I wanted to bump in to them. I finished the rest of my food with the thought I wouldn’t get any food anytime soon and I would regret it if I didn’t finish it later. I paid the waitress and walked back to my apartment. 

I slumped up the stairs cause I couldn’t bother to find the lift. I checked my watch and saw it was 11pm and I decided to go straight to bed, cause I was still pretty tired. I stripped down till my boxers and slipped under the covers. I drifted to sleep but I shot up in pure shock when I heard loud laughter thru the walls. But it wasn’t the laughter that let me shot up. It was the voice I heard after wards. The voice who whispered things in my ear at the plane, the voice I wished I never would hear again. The voice of Louis. I also heard the voice of Harry: ‘Come on Lou, we gotta go, if you still want to go to that club.’  
‘Yeah, yeah, I’m coming Harry, I just was telling Liam here about the cry baby on the flight.’ He said annoyed. ‘Well, that story can wait, and by the way he wasn’t a cry baby, he was just a bit scared.’ Harry stated.   
‘O god, they are talking about me’ I thought in shock.  
‘Well, I love to hear that store one day, but now it’s time for you to go.’ I heard Liam said. ‘And yes, I’m sure I don’t want to come with you!’ He stated and I heard them walking away. I heard muffled goodbyes and a door slamming closed.   
‘No, this is not happening!! They are not friends with Liam who happened to be my neighbor and offered me to show me around. How will I going to avoid them? What will they do, no what will Louis do, when they found out? I will just not except Liam’s offer, and I will try to avoid them. It can work out, it must work out’ Those thoughts all crossed my mind when I finally drifted in to a sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for letting you waiting so long. Hope you enjoyed it. Xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy it, let me know what you think :). Xx

I woke up at 8am. I kept my eyes closed and treasured the moment of the day I love the most: the moment when you just wake up and there are no thoughts running through your mind. I can’t really explain the feeling but it’s awesome, like you are on the top of the world. But unfortunately this moment doesn’t last forever. Suddenly I remembered it: ‘I wasn’t in my bed in Mullingar, not in my old, save bedroom, but in a bed I slept this night for the first time, in an apartment complex in a city I never went before, a city I should call home now.’ I opened my eyes and made a promise to myself: ‘I can do this, I’m Niall fucking Horan and I can do what I want! I will make this work, no matter what it cost! I didn’t came here to fail! I CAN DO THIS’. 

I took a shower and put on the clothes from yesterday evening. Since there wasn’t anything to eat I decided to go to the same diner as I ate dinner in last night. I grabbed my keys, wallet and phone and walked out the door. I decided to take the stairs again and just hoping I wouldn’t bump in to Liam, or even worse, Harry or Louis. I made it out save and ten minutes later I walked into the diner. The table at the window I sat yesterday was still free, and I sat down. I took the menu but looked up when I heard my name. ‘Hey, Niall, isn’t it?’ 

I looked up and saw Liam standing next to my table. ‘Uh, yeah, hi’ I mumbled.   
‘Is it okay if I sit with you?’ Liam asked me, but before I could give him an answer he already took the seat across from me.   
I was a bit baffled but maybe this was a good thing I thought to myself. I definitely could use a friend. And Liam seems like a nice guy, but there’s something bothering me, crap’! Louis, he knows Louis, no he doesn’t know Louis, they are best friends. I groaned in myself, at least I thought I did.

‘Hey, you okay mate? I can go if you don’t want me here.’ Liam said in a somewhat hurt voice.   
‘No, no I’m sorry, it’s not you. You can stay, I mean if you want to stay. You can go if you want to of course.’ I rambled.  
Liam chuckled and I felt my cheeks flush red.

‘Good morning guys, what can I get you two?’ The waitress asked. Phew, saved by the bell, Niall.   
‘I would like the fry up and the fish fingers.’ I said. I looked at Liam and saw his shocked face. ‘What?’ I asked ‘I am just a big eater.’ And again my cheeks flushed red. If this will go on the rest of this breakfast I will be a full ripe tomato at the end and Liam can eat me, I thought.  
‘Yeah you can tell that.’ Liam mumbled. And he turned his attention to the waitress. ‘For me the toast with scrambled eggs, please.’ He said politely.   
The waitress took the order and left us alone again.

‘So, how is London treating you?’ Liam asked me, and I could hear in his voice that he really was interested.  
‘Uhm yeah, well good I guess. I just arrived yesterday.’ I told him.  
‘Did you have a good flight? Two friends of mine also came back from Dublin yesterday. Maybe you where on the same flight. One has curly hair and the other feathery blond/brown hair and they are always very loud, well Louis is, the one with the blondish brown hair. If you where on the same flight, there is absolutely no chance you didn’t see or hear them.’ He said. He looked at me with hopefull eyes, like he thought that would be the best thing ever. Yeah, if he even knew the truth…

‘The scrambled eggs on toast?’ I suddenly hear the waitress, saved by the waitress again, I thought relieved.  
‘Yes, that would be for me’ Liam said and the waitress put the plate in front of him.  
‘And the fry up and the fish fingers are for you then?’ The waitress asked politely to me.  
‘Yes, they are.’ I said with a little smile.  
‘Wow, where do you leave all that food? You must work out really often then, cause you look really good.’ She said in a flirtation voice and she shot me a wink.  
For the third time that day I felt my cheeks flush red. I started fidgeting with my fingers and mumbled, ‘no I don’t work out and thank you.’   
She put the plates in front of me and shot me a last smile before she left us alone with our food. 

‘Niall, dude!! You need to get her number, she was totally flirting with you! I know what I would have done if I were you.’ Liam said with a big grin on his face.  
‘Uhm, no I don’t think she was.’ I said in a shy voice.  
‘Well, she definitely was, but see it yourself.’ Liam said and started eating his toast.  
I’m sure she didn’t flirt with me, I thought to myself, nobody ever does. And by the way, if she was, I surely am not interested. Because since I can remember I know I am gay. Not that I would tell that to Liam, at least not yet. I’m not ashamed of it, and everyone in Mullingar knew, but it’s just not something you tell to someone you just met, at least, I don’t.

I started eating my food and there was a comfortable silence between us.   
‘So’ Liam said after he finished his food, ‘did you see or hear my friends on the plane I told you earlier about?’ I nearly choked on a fish finger and started coughing. Liam shot up and patted me on the back. When I could breathe normally again I said. ‘Ýeah, I think I did’. And I grabbed the last fish finger on my plate.   
‘Ohhh, that’s great!! I really think you should meet them. I’m sure you would like them! They are amazing lads, really the best friends I could ever wish for, same counts for Zayn by the way.’ Liam said excitedly.  
I really didn’t know how to respond to that so I took a large sip of my drink.   
‘I am going to meet them right now, you should come!’  
No, no, no, this is not happing!! I thought and started panicking. ‘No I can’t, I think I feel a little sick, I think I should go home.’ I said in a rush.  
‘Hey, calm down Niall, it’s okay, you don’t have to meet them.’ He said in a concerned voice.  
‘No, no, it’s not that I’m just really starting feeling sick, I think it is the fish fingers.’ And at that moment that really wasn’t even a lie. I did started feeling sick at the thought of meeting Louis again, but no way I would tell Liam that.  
‘I,I should go now.’ I stuttered. I grabbed my wallet and threw some money on the table and rushed out of the diner. When I opened the door I heard Liam say: ‘Hope you’re feeling better soon!’

I nearly ran to my apartment and once I was in slumped on my bed and groaned in frustration. Why are you always so stupid and a coward!! Now all your plans for today are ruined, no way you can go grocery shopping now, or buy some paintings for the walls. I thought angrily to myself. Instead of that I just decided to pack out all of my bags and restyle the living room of my apartment. By the time I was done and I was satisfied with the new look of my living room (apart from the walls), it was 1PM and my stomach started to grumble again. If I go out now to buy something to eat and I would walk into Liam, can I say I started to feel better? I thought to myself. But I knew, even if it wasn’t, I couldn’t live without food for any longer so I just decided to go. I Just zipped up my jacked when I heard a knock on the door. Without any other thought I opened it and that’s when I freezed…

I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever, but I didn’t think I would see him so soon again. The boy in front of me was just as shocked as I was, but he regained himself earlier and pulled me in a huge hug.  
‘Niall, what a surprise to see you here! I never thought I would see you ever again! I must admit I was a bit worried about you when you left the airport. How are you now?’

‘Harry’ I whispered ‘can you please let me breathe a bit?’  
Harry chuckled and freed me out of his hug. ‘But tell me Niall how are you? Who would’ve ever thought you are Liam’s neigbour. Did you meet Liam already?’ Harry asked excitedly.  
I still was in shock of the fact that Harry was basically in my apartment now. He took my silence as a no and tried to drag me out of my apartment, to Liam’s I assumed.   
‘Whoah, stop Harry!’ I almost yelled and he let go of me, looking questionably at me ’I did meet Liam yesterday and I had breakfast with him this morning actually, so no need to drag me to him and I am perfectly fine’ I said a bit harsher then I meant.  
‘Oh,’ Harry said a bit taken a back ‘he didn’t tell me he had a new neighbour. But the reason I am here right now, we are out off eggs. Well actually Liam is, but Louis, Zayn and I are at his apartment making pancakes but the idiot Louis is, he forgot to bring the eggs. So I was sent out to beg the neighbor for eggs. Who would have thought that neighbor would be you!’  
‘I am sorry’ I said ‘but I am afraid I can’t help you with eggs. Basically I have nothing to eat or to drink here. I was just on my way to buy something.’  
‘So you mean’ Harry said excited ‘you are all alone here with no food and no company?’  
‘Yeah, you could put it that way’ I shrugged.

And before I knew it he grabbed me again by my arms and dragged me out of my apartment and right into Liam’s. I was absolutely baffled by his actions and had no strength to fight back. Harry dragged me into the living room and shouted ‘Liam, you didn’t tell me you had a new neighbour and you wouldn’t believe me, but I already know him, so does Louis.’ By the sound of his name I started to panic. I knew there was no change anymore of keeping it a secret for him I was Liam neighbor, but that wouldn’t mean I just could run back to my apartment and hide there.   
Harry already let go of me and I stumbled backward. Just as I wanted to turn around I bumped in to someone and I fell on the ground. I looked up and saw a guy with a quiff. ‘Oh I am sorry, I didn’t see you there.’ The guy with the quiff said and he reached out his hand for me. The moment I wanted to grab his hand I heard his voice.   
‘Oi, Harry, who did you find this time? Is it the chick from the club yesterday? Liam, you wouldn’t keep someone that fit hidden for us, would you?’ He said jokingly when he walked into the living room.   
‘Of course I wouldn’t do that Lou, I thought you would know me better by now.’ He yelled back, still in the kitchen. ‘I can only think of one now neighbor’ Liam yelled. And at that moment Louis saw me, still on the floor and at the same time Liam yelled ‘Niall’, Louis growled ‘Niall’. And at that very moment I thought I would die.


	6. Chapter 6

Louis kept staring at me, well it was more like glaring. And I was still on the ground, sort of frozen. It was when I heard Liam’s voice I got back to reality. ‘Oh, you do know them Niall? Why didn’t you tell me when I told you about them?’ Liam said confused when he walked out of the kitchen in to the living room.  
‘I, uhh, I…’ I couldn’t get anything out of my month and the only thing what was going throuht my head was running and that was what I did. I stumbled up and ran past a baffled Zayn. I heard an angry Harry shouting at Louis, something like ‘Why are you always such a dick?’ And I could hear Louis yelling something back but I couldn’t fit the words together and I was glad for that.

It was when I run out of Liam’ apartment I thought I was save, but I was wrong. I felt someone grabbing my wrist and I tried to get loose. ‘Niall stop, don’t let him get to you like this.’ I heard Harry’s voice.   
‘Let me go, please just let me go.’ I cried. I didn’t even know I was crying until now. I tried to release my wrist, but Harry was much stronger as me.   
‘No, I won’t let you go. I’m not letting you alone when you’re like this.’ Harry said.  
‘Please, just please.’ My voice was not more than a whisper right now. And I felt my legs getting heavy. I knew if I wasn’t going to get to my apartment within minutes I would totally break down in the middle of the hall in front of Harry.   
‘Please’ I tried again but it was too late I felt my legs sliding onto the floor. I knew exactly what would happen next. I would black out, I had experienced this two or three times before and it was always in a room full of people during one of my panic attacks. But before I could think more everything went black.

I woke up with a terrible headache and I heard quiet voices speaking to each other. ‘Niall, Niall, are you awake? Please open your eyes if you are?’ I heard a worried Liam saying.  
I opened my eyes slowly put quickly shut them again due to the bright light. ‘What happened?’ I whispered with my eyes closed.   
‘You fainted Niall, Harry carried you back here.’ Liam said in a soothing voice.  
Panic started to overwhelm me again when I heard I was in Liam’s apartment instead of mine. I tried to get up but a soft hand pushed me back.  
‘You are not going anywhere Niall.’ I heard Harry tell me. ‘First you need to get some food and water in your system.’  
‘But, but..’ I started, barely in a whisper, but Harry interrupted me. ‘He’s not here Niall. Zayn took him with him to the shop to buy the eggs.’  
‘I want to be in my own apartment when they come back.’ I said in a stern voice.  
‘We will see about that, just sleep a little first.’ Liam said.   
I tried to argue but the sleep took me over.

When I woke up again it was silent around me. I opened my eyes and the light wasn’t that hurtful to my eyes anymore. I took in my surroundings and I decided I must be in Liam’s bed. There was a glass filled with water on the nightstand with two pain killers next to it. I took them and swallowed them with the water in the hope they will take my headache away. It was until now I recognized the smell which woke me up in the first place. It was the smell of pancakes. My stomach grumbled and I looked at my watch. It was 3.30pm. Why the hell didn’t they wake me up, I thought angry. I decided to get up and started thinking about a plan to get out of here without anyone noticing me. No matter how hungry I am right now, I’m not going to stay here, I thought.

Just when I found my shoes (Liam or Harry should have took them off) I heard a knock on the door. I held in my breath in the hope whoever it was (probably Liam or Harry), thought I was still asleep and would go away. But of course that wasn’t the case. I saw the door handle going down and I gasped for air when I saw who it was.

He quickly stepped in and closed the door behind him. I backed away from him with my arms in front of me, until I felt the wall against my back.   
‘No, please go away, leave me alone.’ I whimpered when I slid down on the ground. I put my arms around my knees and rocked back and forth.

‘Niall, geeze, I’m not going to hurt you or something.’ Louis said in an annoying voice. ‘I came here to apologize, well the others made me to be honest.’ He scowled.   
I still had my arms around my knees and my head dipped down, but I dared to look up. I saw Louis still standing by the door, his hands in his pockets and he looked uncomfortable and annoyed in one. I didn’t know what to think of it. It was clearly he really wasn’t sorry, but he wasn’t rude to me either. Without saying another word he turned around, opened the door and walked out.   
Seconds later Harry came rushing in the room. ‘What did he say to you? Did he apologize? He didn’t, didn’t he?’ He said when he looked at me at the ground. ‘I’m going to talk some sense in to that little shit ’ He growled. 

That’s when I snapped out of my daze. ‘No Harry, he did.’ I said.  
‘He did?’ He said in a shocked voice.  
‘Yeah.’ I muttered, I was not going to tell him he wasn’t really meaning it. I just didn’t want to get in between them.  
‘I should go now’ I said, while standing up. Harry rushed to me and helped me.  
‘No you are not’ he said, ‘not before you had some pancakes.’ And yet again he dragged me with him.

We got in the kitchen where Liam, Zayn and Louis were sitting around the table. The conversation they had, dropped silence when we entered the kitchen. Liam coughed awkwardly, Zayn looked at me curious and Louis ignored me. I really didn’t want to be here, but I guess I didn’t have a choice. There was only one chair left, next to Liam with Zayn on the other side of the table. Liam gestured me to sit next to him and Harry plopped on the kitchen counter. There were four now empty plates on the table, so I guessed they already ate. Liam got up and pushed a few buttons on the microwave.  
‘I’m Zayn by the way.’ Zayn told me, gesturing his hand towards me. I hesitantly shook it. ‘Niall’ I said.  
‘We left you some pancakes, I’m just heating them for you.’ Liam told me. ‘How are you feeling now?’ He asked me while examining me with worried eyes.  
‘Only a bit of a headache.’ I told him. 

The microwave beeped and Liam put the pancakes out and put them in front of me. There were at least ten of them. He saw my shocked face and chuckled: ‘I guessed you would be very hungry and I saw what you ate this morning.’  
I said thank you and took the fork Harry got for me. I started eating in silent and needed to muffle down a few moans from how good the pancakes were tasting. I ate them all in less than ten minutes. ‘Wow’ Zayn sad a bid shocked but still with humor in it, ’Liam really didn’t lie when he told us you had a big appetite.’  
I shrugged ‘They were just really good.’ And I felt myself blushing.  
‘Well, Louis made them.’ Harry said proud.  
‘Ow’ I said, and I looked down. ‘I guess I should go now.’   
‘Are you sure?’ Liam asked.  
‘Yes, I think I should rest, I’m still having a bit of a headache.’ I said. ‘Thank you for, well uhh, you know.’ I said a bit uncomfortable.  
‘It’s nothing’ Harry and Liam said in unison.  
‘Bye Niall, it was nice to meet you.’ Zayn said to me and I could hear he meant it.  
I dared to look at Louis but I regretted it immediately. He was staring at me, not glaring but, really staring. There was an emotion in his eyes I couldn’t read and I really didn’t want to. I turned my head away from him and walked to the door. 

I heard someone coming behind me and to my relieve it was Liam.  
‘Are you really sure you are alright?’ Liam asked concerned.  
‘Yes, I am, I will be at least.’ I said with as much confident I had inside me.  
‘Just let me give me your number, so you can call or text me if you need anything.’ Liam said.   
I sighed and gave him my phone, I knew he wouldn’t take a no for an answer anyway.  
He typed in his number and send himself a text so he had my number as well.  
‘Just tell me if you need anything okay?’ He asked still with concern clear in his voice.  
‘I will’ I said and thanked him once again.   
‘Ow and Niall, the offer still stand, I will show you around if you want me too and I’m sure Harry and Zayn want too as well. And don’t worry about Louis okay? He will turn around. And if he won’t we will make him.’ He assured me, the last sentence more like a whisper to himself.   
‘Thank you so much Liam, really. But it’s clear Louis doesn’t like me and I don’t want to stand between your friendship, but I..’  
‘You stop it right there Niall!! I will show you around, leave Louis to Harry, it will be okay, I promise! Why not going tomorrow? I’m free the whole day, I will pick you up at 11!’ Liam said.  
And before I could respond I found myself outside his apartment and I walked to my own. I headed right to my bathroom, stripped down to my boxer and slipped under the cheats. I really was tired from everything that happened, even too tired to progress everything and before I knew it I was fast asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm on roll today with updating :). Not sure how many chapters will follow, but we will see I guess :). Hope you all like it :). Xx

The next morning I woke up with a minor headache. I checked the clock and saw it was 9am. Wow, I thought to myself, I must have been really tired! I slept for like 16 hours straight!   
And at that moment all the events from the previous day came in to my mind. I really couldn’t believe I had an panic attack again. What the hell was wrong with me? What kind of power had that Louis guy over me? Why was I so affected about what he thought of me? It’s not like no one else ever judged me before, but I never have let it get to me like this.   
Of course I had panic attacks before, but that is because I’m claustrophobic and it only happened when I was in a big crowd or in a small space. But the panic attack I had yesterday, had nothing to do with that. It was Louis, and that scared me more than anything. I really needed to stay away from him, the effect he had on me wasn’t healthy, I could end up in the hospital for god sake! 

Before my thoughts could go further I heard a knock on my front door. I checked the time again, 9.30. It couldn’t be Liam, he would be here at 11 for showing me around town. But I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go with him, well actually I really didn’t want to. What if we ran into Louis? I really can’t let that happen, I want to stay away from that guy as far as possible. And if that meant I didn’t got to be friends with Liam, then so be it! Maybe I could talk myself out of it, telling him I still didn’t feel good. But I don’t think he would fall for that… 

Before I could think further the one in front of the door started to get impatient because the knocks became harder. ‘Yeah yeah, I coming,’ I muttered and I slipped in a sweat pant. I walked to the door and opened it. Before I could say anything Liam was in my apartment.  
‘ Liam, what are you doing here?’ I said confused and a bit harsh .  
‘Well, I thought you could use a proper breakfast, don’t think you have any food here, right?’ He said cheerly, not in the slightest bit affected by my harsh tone.  
‘Oh, well, uhm thank you.’ I said a bit taken aback.  
‘And I was a bit worried you would try to talk yourself out of me showing you around today. And you didn’t reply to the texts I send you. I was worried about you Niall, so were Harry and Zayn.’ Liam said way more serious now.   
‘I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your texts but I didn’t checked my phone, you really don’t need to worry about me, I’m perfectly fine.’ I said with the most unconvincing smile on my face.   
And you where right about the order part to, I thought.  
‘How can we not worrying about you after what happened? Niall, you are a friend now! So I suggest you will take a shower and I will get this breakfast on plates.’ And while he said that he shoved me to my bathroom. 

I stepped in and I heard Liam walking to the kitchen and rummage through the cupboards to find plates. I guessed I really didn’t had a choice anymore and would most likely spend the rest of the day with Liam. Well fingers crossed we don’t ran in to Louis! I sighed deep and got in to the shower. I took my time and half an hour later I walked in the kitchen. 

The table was set and filled with a lot of food. There where sausages, pancakes, French toasts, beans, bacon, scrambled eggs, fish fingers and blueberry muffins. It all smelled delicious and my stomach started to rumble. ‘Woah, Liam, you didn’t have to got me all of this.’ I said shocked.  
Liam chuckled at my expression ‘Well, it’s not only for you, I would like to have something to, if that is okay with you.’ And he chuckled again.  
‘I, I, of course, that is okay, I didn’t thought it was all for me.’ I said a bit embarrassed and felt my cheeks flushed red.’  
‘Stop staring and dig in before everything is cold.’ And he shoved me in to a chair.

What’s that with everyone shoving me in to something, like I couldn’t walk myself! I thought angry. But nevertheless I filled my plate with everything what was on the table and started eating. We ate in silence and after we were both done Liam started to clear the table. I stopped him. ‘I’m not a little kid you know, I can clean up myself!’ I said a bit harsher as I meant.  
Liam was a bit taken aback. ‘I’m sorry Niall, I never thought you were a kid.’  
‘No of course not,’ I grumbled. And I started to clean up the table. Liam let me and sat down in his chair again. After I cleaned up anything, without saying a word, Liam stood up and clapped in his hands like a overexcited school child.   
‘So Niall, time to go! I have a lot of things planned for today, I am going to show you all around town. Well not entire London, because that is too big, but I will let you see this neighborhood.’ He said excited.

I groaned, I really, really didn’t want to go. Liam saw my little discomfort and placed his hands on my shoulders. ‘Hey, you are going to be okay, I won’t let anything happen to you! I make sure your not surrounded by crowds, I heard what happened at the airport before from Harry. I won’t let that happen to you okay?’ He said, in a convincing voice.   
I sighed deep, how could I tell him I wasn’t afraid for the crowds, but for one of his best friends? I knew I couldn’t tell him that so I just nodded.   
‘Okay, so now we fixed this we should go. Harry and Zayn are waiting for us.’ Liam said cheery again.  
‘W what? They will be there too?’ I said with a shaken voice.  
‘Yeah, I told him our plans yesterday after you left and they wanted to come. You don’t mind it do you?’ He asked, his concern clear in his voice.  
My thoughts went crazy, what if Louis was with him? No, he isn’t, my subconscious told me, he only said Harry and Zayn! I shook my head lightly. ‘No no, it’s okay, so it will only be the four of us right?’ I asked just to be sure.  
Liam looked at me with a confused look, but he nodded his head.  
I took a deep breath for like the tenth time this morning and said with my most excited voice. ‘Okay what are we waiting for then.’  
Liam still looked a bit confused and worried, but he did buy my played excitement and once again dragged me outside.

We walked outside our apartment building, of course we took the stairs, and walked in silent to the familiar diner. Outside the diner we could see two guys standing. I sighed in relieve, when we walked closer to see it where indeed Harry and Zayn. Louis wasn’t nowhere to be found.  
When they saw us Harry engulfed me in a big hug. ‘Hey Niall, how are you mate?’ He asked, with a bit of concern in his voice when we ended the hug.   
But before I could answer, Zayn patted me on the shoulder. ‘Hey mate, good to see you again.’ He said with a genuine smile on his face.   
‘Good to see you again too Zayn and you too Harry.’ I said with a smile on my face. And to my surprise I really meant it. I really was happy to see them again. Although I only had seen Zayn one time he really looked like I nice lat I could easily be friends with. And Harry was just the Harry, always trying to make me feel comfortable.  
‘And I am sorry for yesterday.’ I added quietly.  
‘Nothing to worry about, we just want you to be okay.’ Harry said. And Zayn only smiled reassuring at me.  
‘Okay, shall we go now? I have a lot planned out for today.’ Liam said excitedly.   
Harry groaned at his words. ‘Liam, you are not going to tell me you planned everything out with a time schedule like you did last time, did you?’ Harry asked a bit frustrated.  
‘Uhm well yeah, I did, you don’t mind it Niall or do you?’ Liam said and he looked a bit uncomfortable.  
I didn’t want to disappoint Liam, it looked like he put a lot of time and effort in it. ‘No Liam, not at all, I’m just glad you want to show me around, and how more I’ll see today the better right?’ I said maybe a bit too excited.   
Liam sighted in relieve, ’let’s go then!’  
He walked away with Harry next to him and Zayn and I followed. I could see the two were in a kind of heated conversation and I whispered to Zayn: ‘This is a good idea right? Cause I got a bit scared of the reaction from Harry.’  
Zayn chukled: ‘Nothing to worry about, Liam knows exactly what he is doing, Harry just doesn’t like when everything is planned, but it’s just how Liam is when he gets excited over something.’ He told me.  
I nodded. Maybe, just maybe this day wouldn’t be as bad as I thought, after all.

Just when that thought left my mind I heard someone running towards us and yelling ‘Wait for me!’  
I stopped dead in my tracks, that voice I could recognize everywhere, Louis voice.  
Harry, Liam and Zayn also stopped and Louis was with us is no time.   
‘I thought you couldn’t come today?’ Harry said confused but happy.  
‘Yeah, I was free after all.’ Louis said happily while he literally jumped on Harry, ‘and I couldn’t miss out on all the fun right?’ He said, still clinging on Harry.  
‘If having one of Liam’s famous time scheduled tours is sounding fun to you, I guess not.’ Harry said half joking, half serious when he put Louis down on the ground.  
Liam just pretended he didn’t heard that. ‘Well, glad you could come, now we need to go, or we will already be late and we didn’t even start!’ He said frustrated.  
I still hadn’t moved, my shock on my face not visible for Liam and Harry, cause they were to occupied with the time table (Liam) and getting Louis off of him (Harry).  
But Zayn did notice, ‘Come on Niall’ he said while nudging my shoulder, ‘he really isn’t that bad, and you don’t need to talk to him okay?’   
I nodded my head, still in shock.   
‘Come on then. Let’s go, before Liam is going to drag us with him.’ Zayn said again grabbing my by the elbow and gently took me with him.  
All this time Louis had ignored me, but when he realized we weren’t following them he turned around. ‘Come on guys, we can’t let Liam wait, we don’t want to get him in a little tantrum! This should be a fun day showing our little Nialler around town.’ He said in a bitter sweet tone that shot shivers down my spine. Not only the tone he said it in caught me off guard, but also the nickname he gave to me. Only the people close to me, like my parents and brother, called me Nialler.  
‘You okay Niall?’ Harry said, concern flashing through his eyes.  
‘Y yeah,’ I managed to choke out. ‘Just lets go.’ I said with a bit more steady voice.  
With a quick phase I rushed past Harry and Louis, without looking at them, but from the corners of my eyes I saw a little smile playing on the lips of Louis, and I nearly ran to Liam, with Zayn still next to me.


	8. Chapter 8

To my surprise Zayn was right, Louis wasn’t that bad. During the whole day he didn’t say anything hurtful to me. He actually didn’t even talk to me at all. Not that I minded. But the weird glances never stopped. It made me a bit uncomfortable but I shrugged it off. 

It was good to do some stuff without getting panic attacks for once, and I learned a lot of the neighborhood I live in. There are a lot of good night clubs and more to my liking, pubs. I really needed to thank Liam for this tour! But first I needed food, it was already 7pm and I hadn’t had anything since 3pm. Well, I hadn’t had real food, cause you can’t say 2 icecreams, a bag of crisps and cookies are real food , right? 

We were at the little dining again where we met Harry and Zayn before. We already ordered or food and taking sips from our drinks.  
‘So Niall, what did you think of today? Looked like you had a good time.’ Harry asked with a smile on his face.  
‘Yes, I really had, thank you so much for taking me! Can’t wait to go to one of the pubs you showed me.’ I said with a huge grin on my face.  
‘You need to thank Liam for this, he really is a great tour guide, isn’t he?’ Harry said, nudging Liam in the side.  
‘Yes, thank you very much Liam, really appreciate it’ I beamed.  
‘Nothing to thank me for, that’s what friends are for right?’ He said, with the most genuine smile on his face.   
And for the first time since I arrived in London, I was happy. I really could call Liam, Harry and Zayn my friends. Louis wasn’t though, and I really wasn’t interested in being friends with him. He was still scaring me, although he didn’t do anything today.  
‘Hello, earth to Niall’ Zayn chuckled.  
‘Oh sorry, I was just thinking.’ I said, feeling my cheeks getting flushed.  
‘I bet you were dreaming about your hot girlfriend back in Ireland.’ Harry smirked.  
‘N no, I wasn’t, I don’t, I can’t, I mean I don’t have a girlfriend.’ I stuttered.  
Oh great Niall, just act really awkward when it comes to this, good job mate, now you all left them wondering! I thought to myself.  
Someone snorted but I didn’t saw who it was.   
‘What’s so funny Louis?’ Harry asked with a confused face.  
‘Oh nothing really, just thought about something.’ Louis said, with his eyes directed on me, again with that little smile on his lips which send shivers down my spine.  
‘Ah, come on Lou, just tell us.’ Harry pouted.  
‘Okay, but you asked for it!’ Louis warned. ’I was just picturing him with a girlfriend next to him, but I couldn’t.’  
Liam gasped. ‘Louis William Tomlinson! You don’t say those things out loud, what the hell is wrong with you!!’  
If I could I would have disappeared. I was not only Louis words, I counted on a reaction like this from him, I still hurts but it’s Louis, I expected it from him. It were the words from Liam ‘you don’t say those things out loud.’ So he also thought I’m worthless and not good enough for anyone, and that really hurts, a lot. I thought that was the past, that people wouldn’t judge me here, but I guess I was wrong.   
‘Niall, you okay? You look a bit pale mate.’ Zayn asked concerned.  
‘N no, I’m fine, totally fine’ I lied. But Zayn didn’t buy it.  
‘Come on, I think you could use some fresh air.’ And he dragged me with him.  
I heard Liam whispered. ‘Did I say something wrong?’  
I really wanted to turn around and told him what was wrong, but Zayn had a good grip on me and before I knew it, we were outside.  
‘And know you are gonna tell me what is wrong.’ Zayn stated.  
I really didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want him to know I got teased because of who I am. That I cried a lot during high school. It wasn’t that I got really bullied, but people just ignored me and I was only useful when they needed something from me, and maybe that hurts even more than getting bullied. In college it was a bit better, but still I wasn’t the one people wanted to hang out with for fun. I was really glad when I graduated and I could move away from all the bad memories. But I guess I was wrong in believing things would be different in another country. But maybe this is even worse, cause I have no Greg or my best friend Josh to go too. 

‘I’m sorry Zayn, it is nothing. Just something Louis said and Liam somewhat confirming it.’ Zayn looked confused but then it hit him.  
‘No Niall, listen to me. What Liam mend with what he said to Louis, is that he needs to think before he can say something! He always does this, Louis I mean. Saying something which he knows will hurt people! I really going to talk about him about that. I don’t know what he has against you, but it needs to stop!’ Zayn said, getting angrier with the minute.  
‘No Zayn, it’s okay, I can handle Louis, I just don’t need to let him get to me this easy.’ I said, trying to convince Zayn. ‘And he’s right, anyway.’ I mumbled with no intention for Zayn to hear it.   
‘What did you say Niall?’ he asked. ‘He isn’t right, you hear me, you will find a girlfriend who will be proud to stand next to you!’   
I awkwardly looked at my shoes, not sure what to say about this, but before I could react Zayn lifted my head up and with one look in his eyes I knew he knows. He knows I’m gay. ‘Please, don’t tell the others, not yet.’ I begged him.  
He pulled me into a hug. ‘Niall, you don’t need to be ashamed, you are who you are and you love who you love. Nothing will change I promise you. But I will let you decide yourself when you want to tell the others, your secret is save with me, and if you ever want to talk you can always come to me.’  
I felt tears coming into my eyes, but I pushed them away. A big relieve rushed through me, he didn’t judge me and still looks at me the same way.  
‘Thank you Zayn.’I whispered, ‘it really means a lot.’  
‘It’s okay Niall, let’s go inside before our food gets cold’ He said, pulling me inside again.

We walked to our table and the food was indeed already on the table.  
I sat down quietly.  
‘You okay? I’m sorry if I said something wrong, I didn’t mean to.’ Liam started.  
‘I’m okay Liam, it’s okay.’ I assured him.  
After that we all ate our food in silence. When every plate was empty Harry spoke. ‘So while you to where gone we decided to go clubbing tonight. Are you two joying us?’ he asked Zayn and me.  
‘Yeah, you should come Niall, we can find you a nice girl.’ Liam beamed.  
‘Uhm, no thank you. I will go to bed early, I’m pretty tired from today.’ I looked at Liam’s sad face and added quickly ‘but another time maybe?’ Liam smiled in relieve.  
‘That is something I will hold you on.’ He smiled. And he turned his attention to Zayn. ‘Are you coming with us Zaynie?’  
‘Yeah, ofcourse, maybe Perrie will be there again.’ He said with the biggest smile ever.  
‘Ofcourse she will mate, she’s head over heels for you.’ Harry teased and Zayn the cool guy actually blushed.

After we payed we separated our ways. They asked again if I really didn’t want to come, not even for one drink, but I declined nicely. I went to tesco to buy a lot of groceries and went home after wards. I decided to watch some footie and when I couldn’t kept my eyes open any longer at eleven pm I went to bed.

I woke up from stumbling on the hallway. I heard someone shouting Liam’s name, and bouncing on his door. I groaned because I really wanted to sleep again, I turned around and threw the blanket over my ears, but it didn’t muffle the sounds as good as I hoped for. The bouncing continued and the screams for Liam were getting louder. I listened if Liam was getting up, but there was no sound at apartment next to me. I groaned again and decided to get up. I didn’t bother to put something over my boxers and walked to my door.

The calls for Liam and the bouncing at his door had stopped, but I could still hear there was someone outside. I opened the door and a shock ran through me when I took in my sight. In the hallway, slumped against Liam’s door, sat Louis. It wasn’t only Louis’ present that shocked me, but it was the state he was in. He had a black eye and blood was dripping out of his nose.

‘Louis, what the hell happened to you! And what are you doing here? Where are Liam, Harry and Zayn?’ I almost screamed when I rushed to Louis.  
At that moment the door of an apartment opened and an angry looking man stood in his pyjama’s . ‘Can you please shut the hell up!! We are trying to sleep!!’ He shouted.  
‘Yeah, yeah, I’m really sorry. I’ll try to get him in my apartment.’ I said, pointing at Louis who still hadn’t said anything.   
The man grumbled something under his breath and walked in his apartment, shutting his door with a thud. 

I focused myself back on Louis. ‘Come on Louis, let’s get you inside.’ I said, while trying to help him on his feet. He was clearly drunk and way stronger than me and he had no intention to stand up. ‘Come on Louis, please.’ I begged. ‘You can sleep on my couch, but first I need to clean you up and you need to tell me what happened and where the others are.’  
He finally stood up and with a bit of my help, he followed me into my apartment.

‘Why are you even helping me?’ he slurred when I finally got him on a chair in the kitchen. ‘It’s not like I have been nice to you.’  
I shrugged, I really didn’t know the answer to this. I still really didn’t like him, but you just can’t let someone on their own in a hallway when they just got beaten up, at least I assumed that happened, do you? Well, I’m not that kind of person.

I grabbed a bag of frozen beans out of the freezer, wrapped it in a towel for his eye and another towel for his nose and apparently his busted lip.  
‘Here, hold this, is will stop the swelling and tell me now what happened.’ He took the towel with the beans and the other towel from me and hold it against his eye and nose. His face twisted in pain.  
‘I just got in to a fight with 3 guys, nothing major. Apparently I was trying to hit on one of their girlfriends. Like I was interested anyway.’ He snorted. ‘But I also gave them a few good punches.’ He said, really proud of himself.

I sighed, ‘But what are you doing here? Where are the others?’  
‘I tried to find them, but I couldn’t so I thought they headed home, but I guess I was wrong.’  
While he was telling his story I made both of us some tea. He grabbed his mug and took a sip, but spit it out immediately. ‘What the hell is this? Never heard of sugar?’ He said harsh.  
I backed away, a bit scared and confused. Why must he always be so rude and hurtful to me? ‘S sorry.’ I stuttered. I opened one of the cupboards to grab the sugar, but when I turned around, Louis was with his head on the table, the bag with beans next to his head, snoring like there was no tomorrow. 

I took a hold around his waist and managed to get him on his feet. I dragged him with me to the living room and lied him down on the couch. He mumbled something along the way what sounded like: ‘You’re really cute, you know that?’ I chuckled a little, cause he was still thinking about that girl from the club. I grabbed a pillow and a blanked. It took me a while before I had the pillow under his head, because he kept twisting. After that I pulled the blanket over him and tucked him in. I looked at him, he was still twisting a little and he mumbled something again like ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘you don’t understand’. After that he finally laid still, on his belly, one arm hanging next to the couch the order under his head which was facing to me. He really looked peaceful and almost adorable, but I wondered how he would react when he will wake up in the morning and realize where he was. I took a deep sigh and went to bed myself, worrying about what the morning would bring.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up the next day from hearing stumbling in my kitchen. I looked at the clock and saw it was 8am. I groaned, 8am on a Sunday morning, this is way too early! And at that thought I shoot up. 8am on a Sunday morning and I woke up from hearing someone stumbling in my kitchen when I was supposed to be alone! This is not good I thought to myself. Think, Niall think, I said to myself. What happened? And then it hit me. LOUIS. 

At that moment, I heard someone walking to my bedroom, no, not someone, him! I quickly laid down again and I just closed my eyes before I heard him open the door. He walked to my bed and sat on the edge of it. My body was frozen, my mind was telling me to run away, to get away from him as far as I could, but I just couldn’t. I was literally frozen on the bed.

‘Niall,’ he whispered, ‘Thank you. For last night. You don’t like me, heck, you probably hate me, but you still took care of me.’ After that it was silence after two minutes or so, I didn’t dare to move, I didn’t want him to know I was awake. I know he only told me this because I was asleep and that he would never ever tell me this if I was awake.   
But after the silence he spoke again ‘No one ever did that for me.’ I heard his voice cracked at the end of that sentence. I felt he stood up and rushing out of my bedroom, and after one minute I heard him open the front door, leaving my apartment. 

After five minutes lying as still as I could with my eyes still closed I finally dared to move again. What the hell just happened. What was he talking about and was he crying at the end? Those thoughts were running through my mind. I got up and walked in to the living room. The blanket I covered Louis under, lay neatly folded on the couch. I walked to the kitchen and saw he washed to cups I made tea in for us. This all confused the hell out of me. Why was he so polite all of the sudden? If he really hated me, he wouldn’t have come to me to say thank you or folded the blankets or washed the cups. Maybe he was turning into a nicer Louis? No Niall, he isn’t, he was probably still drunk.

Before my thoughts would go even more crazy I decided to take a shower. Hot water running down my body always seems to calm me down. The minute I walked out of the shower I heard someone banging on my door and muffled voices. ‘Harry calm down, you don’t want to scare him, do you? You know how he is!’ I recognized Liam’s voice. ‘I swear to god Liam, If Niall really helped Louis, just like that man sad and Louis did something to him, I’m going to kill him! I know he is my best friend, but he needs to back off!!’ Harry almost yelled. 

I quickly dried myself and threw some closed on. By the time I reached the door, Liam had managed to calm Harry down a bit. I opened the door and Harry flew in. ‘Where is he Niall? Are you okay? You are not going to tell me you did help him last night, right?’ Harry shouted while he was running down my apartment.   
I sighed deep and Liam looked at me with curious eyes, now standing in my hall. Harry came back to us after he found no one in my apartment. ‘Niall, please answer us! You did let him in, didn’t you? I saw the blanket on your couch! Tell me what happened.’ Harry half screamed.

‘Harry, please calm down, I’m okay, he didn’t do anything and yes, I did help him and let him in.’ Harry and Liam looked at each other in shock and turned to me again with the same shock still visible in there eyes. ‘ I swear, you would have done the same.’ I told them. ‘Let’s go to the kitchen and I will explain everything.’ They followed me with worried eyes. I sat down and so did Harry. Liam grabbed some cups and started to make some tea. ‘You don’t mind, do you? Me making us some tea in your kitchen?’ He asked when he realized what he was doing. ‘No, of course not Liam, I really can use one.’ I said to him.

After we all had a cup of tea I told them everything. Liam gasped at the part where I told them why Louis was there in the first place. ‘I told him to stay away from that girl, I knew she was trouble!’ He sighed.   
‘Don’t worry Liam, it is nothing new for him.’ Harry sniggered. ‘But I wonder why he couldn’t find us afterwards.’ He frowned.  
I ended the story with me waking up and finding out he was already gone. I didn’t want them to know what Louis did, that he came to me. I knew for sure they would confront him with it and I didn’t want Louis to know I heard him. He would definitely be extremely mad at me and I wasn’t ready for that.

Suddenly something crossed my mind. ‘How did you guys now he was with me?’  
‘We got home at 6am or something and Harry here was a bit loud.’ Liam explained.   
‘I really wasn’t that loud, that man is just a light sleeper and doesn’t know what fun is.’ Harry defended himself.  
Liam gave him a stern look and continued. ‘Like I said, we came home and Harry woke, okay, okay we woke up one of the neighbors.’ Liam quickly said, after Harry shot daggers at him. ‘And he said this was the second time he was woken up and muttered something about a blond boy helping another one.’ Liam explained further.   
‘And that’s where it clicked’ Harry continued. ‘I wanted to wake you up immediately and take Louis with us, but Liam didn’t let me. He was scared we would woke you two up and make things worse.’  
‘Making things worse?’ I asked confused.  
‘Yes, we didn’t know if he stayed or not and maybe you were upset and I wanted to let you sleep.’ Liam explained again.  
‘Ow, well, okay. I wasn’t upset and Louis didn’t do or say something really hurt full. But I appreciate it you let me sleep.’ While I said that my stomach grumbled, I hadn’t had breakfast yet and Harry heard it.  
‘Come on, we are buying you breakfast, for thanking you for taking care of Louis, it is the least we can do. I bet he won’t do it himself.’  
If you guys even know, I thought to myself, but I didn’t say anything.  
‘Yes, that’s a good idea Harry, come one Niall.’ Liam said excited.   
‘You really don’t have to that guys!! Like I said, I would have done this for anyone.’  
‘You are way too good for this world Niall, but you are going with us, we don’t take no for an answer, do we Liam?’ Harry said, grabbing me by the arm.   
‘Okay, okay, I’ll come with you, but you don’t have to drag me, I’m perfectly capable of walking myself’ I said half jokingly half seriously.

After I put on my shoes and my jacket, we walked to the same diner, we went before. I closed the door behind me and heard an o so familiar voice. ‘Harry, Liam, what are you two doing here? Were where you last night?’   
‘Louis! We can better ask what you are doing here! How’s your nose and eye?’ Liam answered Louis while he and Harry walked to him.

I was still at the door, I didn’t know if I should go and run or just walk behind Harry and Liam like nothing is wrong. And that is the problem, I don’t think there is something wrong, at least no more wrong then usual between me and Louis. But I’m not sure if I can act like I didn’t heard him.  
I sighed deep and followed Liam and Harry to the table of Louis.  
Louis was in the middle of telling Harry and Liam what happened the night before, when he saw me. ‘Oh, I see why you two are here. What are you thinking Harry,’ he almost screamed ‘I understand when Liam goes all protective, but did you really need to bring him along to everything! And why is he even here!! I thought you two came checking up on me, since I always eat breakfast here after a night out! Oh, wait, I get it, you didn’t even realized that! Did you even missed me last night, where you even concerned about me?’ Louis was now full on screaming. I looked at Harry and Liam who were just as shocked as me. ‘Louis, that’s not the case at all, and you know it.’ Liam tried. ‘No Liam, shut up , I can’t deal with both of you right now!’ Louis still screamed. And before we even could react Louis stood up and sprinted out of the dinner. I thought I saw a tear escaping his eyes, but I didn’t know for sure. The only thing I could think was, this is my fault, and my fault only. I need to fix this! And without saying anything to Liam and Harry I sprinted through the door, Louis just escaped through. I needed to find him, I needed to fix this.


	10. Chapter 10

I was just outside in time to see Louis disappear around a corner. I ran as fast as I could and I screamed his name. But I wasn’t sure if he could hear me. When I turned the same corner I saw Louis disappear, I slowed down. I didn’t see him anymore. I shouted his name, but nothing. I walked down the street until I heard someone whimpering in an alley. I decided to check it out and what I saw at the end of the alley broke my heart. I know he treated me like shit, but I never ever saw someone that miserable as Louis at that moment. He was sitting against the brick wall with his knees pressed to his chest, his arms wrapped around it and he hit his face in it.   
I slowly walked up to him. ‘Louis,’ I whispered. ‘I’m so sorry Louis.’   
His head shot up and if looks could kill I was death right then and there. But I was done being scared of him, I needed to fix this.   
‘Go away,’ he growled. Trying to hide the hurt in his voice.   
‘No Louis, I won’t go anyway. I’m not scared of you anymore. I realized after you came to me this morning, yes I was awake,’ I told him when I saw the shock on his face.   
‘I realized it wasn’t me you hated, there is more to it. And when you stormed off a view minutes ago I was sure about it. So I won’t go away until you tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what I did, or what I didn’t do.’ I now pleaded. I didn’t know what triggered him, but he broke down and sobbed like there was no tomorrow.

I quickly closed the space between us and crouched down beside him. I wrapped my arms around him and he tensed under my touch.   
‘Shh, Louis, it’s okay. Don’t worry everything will be okay.’ He relaxed a bit and he actually did let me comfort him.   
After 10 minutes of rubbing his back and saying soothing things, he calmed down a bit.  
‘I I’m sorry Niall, I’m so so sorry.’ And a few more tears escaped his eyes.   
I wanted to wipe them away, but I knew this wasn’t the time.   
‘Please, just tell me what’s wrong.’ I pleaded. ‘I want to fix whatever I did.’

‘Not everything is about you Niall.’ He suddenly yelled.   
He pushed me away and wanted to stand up.  
I was in shock, that boy surely has some serious problems, but I decided I wouldn’t let him treat me like that anymore. I stood up and towered above him  
‘What the hell Louis, I ran after you, I wanted to know what’s wrong with you, I was WORRIED about you, even after what you did to me, and this is what I get?’ I was furious by now.   
‘You know what, you see it yourself!! I’m done dealing with your shit!! First you are all worried at the airport, yes I remember that! And in the plane you were an absolute arse. What the hell did I ever do to you!! And what was it this morning? You where right about one thing, I don’t understand you and I’m not sure if I even want that anymore.’   
Louis looked at me with eyes wide open, full of shock.   
I turned around and walked away, trying to force back my tears. I definitely wasn’t to let Louis show how upset I really was. I wouldn’t want to give him that statisfication.   
I heard Louis stand up and suddenly he grabbed my wrist and turned me around. His eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, he really looked like a total mess.   
‘Niall,’ He whispered, ‘please don’t give up on me, not yet, just please.’ And he walked away.

I stood there in total shock, what the hell is wrong with that boy? Is he bipolar or something? The way he said, ‘please don’t give up on me, not yet,’ the vulnerability was shown in his eyes and there was something more in his eyes, it looked like fear but I didn’t know for sure. I really didn’t want to give up on him, but he’s making it damn hard for me!

I walked back to the dinner, still highly confused. I stopped in front of the door, not sure if I wanted to go in and face the others. I’m not even sure myself what happen down that alley, so how could I explain it to them? And I knew for sure they wanted to know everything what happened and I couldn’t tell him that before I was 100 percent sure myself.

I walked home to my apartment and walked up the stairs, praying I wouldn’t run into Liam or Harry.  
I made it inside without seeing anyone. 

I wasn’t even inside for one minute before someone knocked on my door. I hesitantly opened it, but to my relieve it wasn’t Harry or Liam. Instead there was a guy around my age from a delivery agency, with my guitar case in his hands.   
‘ Niall Horan?’ He asked.   
‘Yes, that’s me.’  
‘I have a package for you, if you would sign here?’ He put some paper in front of my nose and I signed it.  
‘Thank you very much, I have waited for this.’ I said excitedly and took my guitar.  
I said goodbye and rushed back inside. I was eager to finally play again. It always has been a way to gather my thoughts if I was confused. And I was now more confused than ever. I started to play a song by Olly Murs. When I finished the song I heard applause. I shot my head up and on the couch sat Zayn. 

I felt my cheeks become red, I never ever played in front of anyone expect for my mum, dad, brother and Josh. ‘What, how, what, when did you came in, how did you came in?’ I asked confused and embarrassed.  
‘The door was open, and I heard you playing. You don’t have to be embarrassed Niall, you are really good!’ But we can talk about that later.   
‘I’m sorry to bring it up, but what happened between you and Louis? Harry and Liam called me. They eventually found Louis at his apartment and he’s a mess. He’s only mumbling about how sorry he is and how he don’t want to lose his friends. Liam and Harry are with him and they asked me to talk to you and to see if you are okay. Please Niall, tell me what happened.’ 

I felt tears forming in my eyes, what did I do to Louis?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it seems like they both has a few issues :). Hope you liked it!! Xx


	11. Chapter 11

I looked at Zayn in shock, did I do that to him? Did I break Louis? But how, why? What was so horrible about the thing I said to him? I know it wasn’t really nice, the things I said, but it wasn’t even as worse as the things Louis did to me. Why is this happening to me?  
I wanted to make a new start, make new friends, make a new life for me. Where I can be carefree and no drama for ones. But instead I get this. How did this happen. The thoughts running through my mind untill Zayn brought me back to reality.  
‘Niall damnit, this is not the time, snap out of there, what happened!’ Zayn almost yelled at me.  
I whimpered at his harsh tone. ‘I I’m sorry Zayn.’ I managed to choke out.  
‘Oh, Niall come here. I’m sorry okay, I shouldn’t snapped at you.’ Zayn sighed. He took the guitar out of my hands and gently helped me up from the chair I was sitting in and hugged me tightly. I let him lead me to the couch and he sat me down before he sat next to me.

‘Niall, look at me and tell me what happened. Please, we need to know. I know it is a lot to take for you right now, but you need to calm yourself down and talk to me. Niall, we need to help Louis.’  
The name of Louis really brought me back to reality.  
Come on Niall, you can break down when this is all over but now focus! I told myself.  
I took a deep breath and told Zayn what happened. From the moment I ran after him until I found him whimpering in the alley and how I calmed him down.  
Zayn just listened and nodded and he looked at me encouragingly to continue, but I found it really difficult to tell this part. I really wasn’t proud of the things I said to him and I don’t know how Zayn would react. Because this was the thing that really broke Louis.  
I tried to keep the tears in, but it was really difficult.  
‘I’m so sorry Zayn, I shouldn’t have said those things to him, I’m so so sorry, please don’t hate me.’  
‘Niall, I know it wasn’t that bad, and I promise I won’t hate you, please just tell me what happened next. We never ever have seen Louis like this before, not even Harry. We are concerned about him Niall.’  
‘I I yelled at him. He told me everything wasn’t about me and I snapped. And I’m so sorry Zayn.’ And once again I broke down.  
‘Shhht Niall, it’s okay. You don’t need to apologize. It’s completely understandable you snapped at him after everything. It is not your fault how Louis reacted on that. I knew something bothered that kid long before you came. He was always way to happy and never talked about his childhood time, not even with Harry. You triggered something Niall, and it was about time something happened.’ Zayn explained to me, still holding me close. It was a good thing that a guy could just comforted me like this without being scared I want something more of him. Back in Mullingar most of the guys avoided me like the plague after I came out. 

‘Thank you Zayn.’ I whispered.  
‘For what?’ He asked confused.  
‘For everything, for not judging me and for hearing me out.’ I quietly said.  
‘Niall, it’s okay, that’s what friends are for right? But now I need to help another friend of mine and I need your help with it. I want you to come with me to Louis, do you think you can do that?’

Wait, what, he’s got to be kidding me right? How can he expect me to come with him? After what I did to Louis and he to me?  
‘No no, I can’t Zayn, no, I’m sorry, I really can’t, please don’t let me do it, please.’ I whimpered while I looked away from him.  
‘Niall, look at me’ He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him and again I whimpered.  
‘I know a lot is going on between the two of you, but you need to do this. I can’t leave my friend being a completely mess. And you seem to be the only one who can get to him. He changed since he met you Niall, I don’t know how or why but he did. We need you with this Niall, if you’re not doing it for Louis, do it for Harry and Liam. They always helped you right? Harry was there for you in the plain right? Be there for him now Niall, he don’t know what to do, Louis is his best friend and it kills him seeing him like this.’ I watched him the whole time and when he stopped talking I could see how desperate he was. I thought about everything I said, and he was right. They were always there for me, especially Harry. I couldn’t let them down now.

‘But ofcourse I can’t force you.’ Zayn sighed.  
‘No, no. I will come with you okay, but please don’t leave me alone with him.’ I said quietly.  
‘Are you sure you want to do it? I know it is a lot to ask from you, I’m sorry for that.’  
‘Yeah, yeah, I’m sure, just don’t leave me alone with him!’ I pleaded while looking him straight in the eye to make sure he understood me.  
‘No I won’t! I will make sure me, Harry or Liam is there with you the entire time.’ He said reassuringly while he stood up. 

We walked out of the apartment and Zayn lead me to his car. I stared out of the window, really worried about what to come. What must I say to him? How will he react when he sees me? Does he even wanna talk to me?

After ten minutes, it looked much shorter to me, Zayn parked in front of another apartment complex, but this one was a bit fancier then where Liam and I lived. We walked to the door and Zayn pressed a button. Not a second later we heard a hurried voice.  
‘Zayn, is that you, please tell me Niall is with you.’  
‘Yes he is Liam, can you open the door for us please?’  
‘Ýes, of course, just hurry, I can’t deal with this alone.’

We heard a click and Zayn opened the door. We took the lift to the 6th floor. And when the door opened Zayn rushed to Louis’ door. I stepped out of the lift hesitantly. 

Zayn turned around ‘Niall, come on, I won’t leave you alone, I promised you that right?’  
I took a deep breath and walked to the door. Before we could knock the door swung open and Liam stood there with a really concerned look on his face, but he relaxed a bit when he saw us.

‘How is he?’ Zayn asked.  
‘still the same’ Liam answered pulling his hand through his hair. ‘Harry is with him, but he just won’t talk to us.’

‘Let me try.’ I said quietly.  
‘You wanna do that.’ Liam asked relieved and he pulled me into a hug.  
‘Yes, as long I’m not alone with him, I will.’ I said with more confident than I felt.  
‘Is it okay if Harry stays with you? Than I can tell Liam what you told me okay?’ Zayn suggested.  
I nodded.  
‘Okay this way.’ Liam guided me to I assumed was Louis’ room.

He knocked softly and opened the door. The sighed in front of us was really heart breaking. Louis laid on his bed, silent tears streaming down his face and Harry sad at the edge of the bed. I never had seen Harry this sad and broken. He looked at Louis with pain and sadness in his eyes.  
Liam pushed me inside and closed the door again.

I stood awkwardly in the room, not sure what to say. Harry finaly looked at me and showed me a sad smile. He beckoned to me to come closer. 

‘He won’t let me touch him Niall, he just won’t let me. I never seen him like this before, this is not Louis. He always let me soothe him.’ And a tear escaped Harry eyes.  
‘I’m sorry Harry, I’m so sorry, it is all my fault.’ I choked out and I wanted to run but a sound stopped me.

‘Niall, is that you?’ A voice so vulnerable and broken, not more than a whisper. It really broke my heart.  
‘Y yeah, it is. But don’t worry, I will go now.’ I managed to say through me tears.  
‘No, please don’t go.’ He whispered.

I looked from him to Harry, back to him, in shock. Harry had the same shock visible on his face.  
‘Come Niall,’ Harry said and he made room for me on the bed.  
I hesitantly sat down, not sure what to do now. 

‘C can you please lay with me?’ Louis whispered.  
I looked at Harry and he nodded encouragingly at me. I slowly took of my shoes and laid down.

Louis immediately clinged to me. I turned around so I was on my side facing Louis.  
He took my shirt and buried his head in it.  
‘I’m so so sorry Niall, so sorry.’ He whimpered.  
I wrapped my arms around his shaking body ‘It is okay Louis, it’s okay now. I’m here, Harry, Liam and Zayn are here, everything is going to be fine. But you need to talk to us.’  
His crying went into full on sobbing and I rubbed his back, saying sweet nothings to him, trying to calm him down. I don’t know how long we laid there, but at one point someone laid a blanked over us and we both drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, things will get better!! Xx


	12. Chapter 12

I don’t know what time it was when I woke up. I laid there with my eyes closed, not daring to move. I could still feel Louis next to me. His hands still holding my shirt in a tight grip and my arms secured around his waist. It was quite comfortable and I couldn't believe this was the same Louis who had yelled at me so many times. And who could make me feel worthless in a second.

I didn’t want to wake him up, scared of the things what would happen then. Suddenly I felt him moving beside me. He carefully let go of my shirt and slipt away from my embrace. I could feel him roll over, away from me. I felt a weight lifting up from the bed and I assumed it was Louis. After some more silent noises I heard the door opening and closing again. I let out a sigh I didn’t know I was holding, glad Louis didn’t talk to me and I opened my eyes. The clock in the room said it was 5pm and I decided it was time for me to go.

I stood up and before I got the change to walk out of the door, Harry came rushing in.  
‘Niall, did Louis talk to you? He is in the kitchen making some food, acting like nothing even happened!!’  
I took a deep sigh, I thought that Louis would finally talk, but I guess I was wrong, not that it really surprised me though.  
‘No Harry, he didn’t. The only thing he said was that he was sorry and he cried in to my shirt.’ With that said, we both looked at my shirt. It was soaking wet with the tears from Louis.  
‘You need to change Niall,’ and Harry walked to Louis’ closed and took a plain white shirt from it.  
‘No it’s okay Harry, it will dry.’  
‘Niall, don’t start with me right now and put on this damn shirt!!’ The look in Harry’s eyes said it wasn’t the time to argue and I pulled my own shirt off and replaced it with the one from Louis.

We walked to the kitchen and Louis was on the table eating some toast while Liam and Zayn were sitting on the other end of the table, giving Louis worry glances every minute.  
‘Hi.’ I said quietly. Both Liam and Zayn gave me a small smile. Louis froze for a second but continued eating his toast, not giving me one glance.  
‘Louis,’ Harry started ‘Can you please tell us what is wrong? We are so worried. We are your best friends, you can tell us everything, you know that right?’

Suddenly he pushed his plate away and stood up. ‘I’m fine Harry, I’m completely fine. Going for a walk now.’ And he started to walk to the front door.  
‘Louis,’ Harry yelled angry ‘you are defenitly not fine and you won’t leave this house before we know what’s wrong!!’  
‘Harry,’ Liam began.  
Louis abruptly turned around. ‘Fine, I’ll be in my room then!’ he spat.   
He rushed past me and gave me a shove with his shoulder, I whimpered lightly. I knew the Louis was back who scared me to death.   
‘Louis, please, we only want to help you. Harry didn’t mean to yel at you, right Harry?’ Liam tried to settle things.   
But Louis didn’t listen and walked to his door, shutting his door with a loud bang.

‘I’m sorry guys,’ I said trying to keep my tears in.  
‘No Niall, this is not your fault!’ Zayn said. ‘We are happy you came here and tried, but I guess Louis will talk when he wants to talk.’  
‘Oh no, he isn’t, he is going to talk right now and apologize to Niall.’ Harry said, while he walked to Louis’ bedroom.  
‘No you don’t!’ And Liam grabbed him by his arm. ‘I think it is better we let him cool off a little.’ Liam continued, still holding Harry.  
'He won't have to apologize to me, he didn't asked me to come.' I said to no one in particular and honestly I don't think anyone heard me, because they where all focused on Harry, who was crying now.  
‘But I can’t take this anymore Liam, I want my Louis back, I want my happy, bubbly, sassy Louis back.’ Harry whispered and silent tears ran across his cheeks. Liam took him in a hug and I decided I couldn’t be here anymore.

‘Sorry guys, I I need to go. Prepare for tomorrow or something.’ I mumbled.  
But before I walked out I realized I still wore Louis’ shirt and I really wanted mine back.  
‘Going to grab my shirt.’ I said when I saw the look on Zayn’s and Liam’s faces when I walked to Louis’ room instead to the front door.  
I knocked on Louis’ door but there was no respond so I opened it. Louis was lying on his bed, his back facing the door.

‘Louis,’ I said quietly. ‘I’m going to grab my shirt and then I’m gone. But promise me one thing, go talk to the others. They are so worried. Especially Harry, he is crying right now.’  
Louis stayed silent and with a sigh I turned around.

‘I can’t Niall, they just think I acted childish. And I can’t lose my friends again.’ He whispered.  
I slowly turned around, slightly in shock that he talked to me, not yelling or saying ‘I’m sorry’ but really talking. Louis was still lying with his back against me.  
‘When I was 8 I had two best friends, we did everything together. We were in the same grade and no one could separate us, not ever, or at least that’s what I thought.’ His body was shaking again.  
I didn’t really know what to do. Should I stay and hear him out or should I tell him I’m not the one to talk too, but Harry, Liam and Zayn are?  
I decided the last. I still didn’t want to be in a room with him alone, although we basically fell asleep in each others arms.

‘Louis, I really don’t think I am the one you should telling this, but Liam, Zayn and Harry are.’ I said as soothing as possible.  
‘No, please,’ he whimpered, and I could tell he was crying again. ‘they will leave me Niall, just like Stan and Zach did.’  
‘Louis’ I sighed, ‘they won’t leave you, they love you, they are your mates, your brothers!! They would never ever leave you!’  
‘That’s what they said.’ He said while he turned around on his bed.

I was right, he was crying again. His eyes were puffy and red and there were unshed tears in his eyes.  
‘Louis, I don’t know what you want from me. One minute you are so angry at me I’m afraid you would hit me and now you act like you can’t live without me.’  
He looked at me in shock. ‘I I’m sorry, I didn’t mean too. You are right, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think you should better leave now.’ He said with so much pain in his voice, it brought tears to my own eyes.

And before I could think twice about it, I turned around again and ran out of his room, past the other boys who where still in the kitchen and out of the door. Before I shut the door I could hear a voice screaming ‘Niall, where are you going!!’ But I couldn’t tell who it was and it didn’t matter because I wanted to leave, no I needed to leave. Louis told me too. And I didn't know why that hurts so much because I really didn't want to stay either. When I came by the elevator I noticed I was still wearing Louis’ shirt who was now almost dry. But I knew that wasn’t for long, cause I could feel the tears falling from my own eyes.

Just when the lift door opened and I wanted to step in, I felt a hand on my shoulder turning me around. I expected it to be Liam or Zayn, but when I was fully turned around I saw it was Louis. And before I could say anything he pressed his lips against mine.

I backed away as quickly as I could and stumbled backwards in the still open lift. I tripped and fell on my ass. I looked up and saw Louis staring at me, with the same shock in his eyes I knew I had. Before both of us could say anything the door closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :). Xx


	13. Chapter 13

What the fuck just happened, I thought, still sitting on the floor of the elevator. He didn’t kiss, me did he? Is he crazy? What is he trying to do? I don’t need this right now!!

Before I could really understand what just happened, the doors opened again and I saw I was on the front floor. I was still in shock and couldn’t move, even if the only thing I wanted right now is running away as far as I could get. But I was frozen. The doors closed again, but since I didn’t pushed a button it didn’t go up. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, ready to stand up and opening the doors again. But just when I wanted to, the elevator started to move. I looked at the buttons and saw the button of the sixth floor lighting up, indicating someone up there wanted to go down. My heart started to beat fast in my chest. I didn’t want to face him, or anyone for that matter. But it already was too late.

The door opened and Liam stood there with an unreadable look on his face. He didn’t say anything while he picked me up from the floor of the elevator and carried, yes carried, me back to Louis apartment. I wanted to fight but I knew I couldn’t stand a chance against him.

He walked through the door, straight to the kitchen and dropped me on a chair. Zayn, Harry and even Louis where already sitting on the table. But I doubted Louis was there in free will, cause both Harry and Zayn had a hand on his shoulder. He looked down at his hands, who lay in his lap.   
Liam took a seat next to me and put a hand on my shoulder, just the way Harry and Zayn had on Louis’ shoulder.

Liam looked from me to Louis and back at me, still with that unreadable expression on his face.   
‘Niall’, he said, ‘Louis has something to tell you.’  
I looked at Louis who tried to open his mouth, I assume to argue with Liam, but Zayn beated him.   
‘Yes you are going to tell him what you told us just minutes ago!’  
With that Zayn stood up and left the kitchen, but not before he gave me a reassuring smile. Liam looked at Louis with a stern look and also stood up. 

I only realized now, what they were trying to do. They wanted me and Louis to talk, but that’s not what I wanted.  
‘No,’ I said. I wanted it to come out stern and harsh but it almost sounded like a whimper.  
‘Ýes’, Liam said. ‘You need to hear what Louis has to say, you need to talk everything out.’  
‘No,’ I said a bit harder this time. ‘I don’t want to hear anything and you can’t make me!!’ 

I stood up and walked to the kitchen door. But before I could open it I felt a hand on my shoulder. It just lay there, with no pressure what so ever, so I could brushed it of if I wanted too.  
‘Niall,’ I heard Harry’s deep raspy voice. ‘please, just let him explain his behavior.’  
I turned around and looked in to Harry’s green eyes.   
‘No Harry, I can’t’, I whispered. Once again tears started to fill my eyes.   
‘I can’t let him close to me cause I know he will hurt me again. And I don’t think I can handle that.’ A tear escaped my eye and I cursed myself for letting him see me crying again.  
‘Yes you can, why did you let me stop you otherwise?’ He whispered in my ear while he huged me close.   
‘Please just talk to him, just hear him out. If you still never wants to see him again after, I won’t stop you, nobody would.’ He pleaded, still holding me in his hug.  
I sighed and pushed him off me.   
‘Okay, I will try’. I told him.  
I could hear Liam sighting in relief and I could hear him telling something to Louis, but I couldn’t make out the words.  
Harry walked past me and also Liam left the kitchen.

I really didn’t know if I should take a seat or if I just should keep standing, I decided to keep standing.  
I looked up and saw Louis’ eyes were surprisingly on me.  
‘First of all’ he said quietly ‘sorry for the kiss, I shouldn’t have done that.’  
‘No you shouldn’t’ I growled.  
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair when he realized I wasn’t taking it easy on him this time.  
‘Just tell me what you want so I can leave.’ I spat.  
He whimpered at my harsh tone.  
‘Niall please, I am really sorry for everything, I know you can’t forgive me for everything, but just hear me out.’ 

I didn’t say anything but nodded my head and so he continued.  
‘On the plain I was a bit jealous, because I was bored and Harry gave you all the attention. And since I was bored I thought it was fun to scare you a bit, but that only drove Harry closer to you. And I thought it didn’t matter cause I probably wouldn’t see you again after all, but I was wrong.’ 

I could see he was really sorry, but what he just told me angered me only more.  
‘So you thought it was okay to scare someone to death just because ‘I wouldn’t see him again’ did you ever thought of the consequences for that person, for the consequences for me!!’ I screamed at him, the anger visible in my voice.  
He winced at my words and looked even more guilty.  
‘I know Niall, and I am sorry, I really am. And no I didn’t think about that.’ He pleaded.  
‘Well if this is your excuse for being such an arse all the time, I’m sorry but I don’t buy it!!’ I said, still fuming.   
‘No, Niall please, there is more, please let me explain.’ He said, while tears started to stream down his face.

I glared at him but I gave him the chance to continue.  
‘When I found out you where Liam’s new neighbor I was in shock, I didn’t really know how to handle myself. And when you got closer to Harry, Zayn and Liam, I thought they found you better company and even a better friend.’ He chocked out the last words.  
‘I didn’t want to lose my best friends, not again.’ He was now full on sobbing and I just couldn’t stand there doing nothing. So I walked to him and sat down on the chair next to him. I placed my arms on his waist and tugged him close. His face was nudge just under my shoulder and my shirtwas tugged in to his fists. 

‘Shhht, Louis, no one is going to leave you, I promise. Calm down for me now, can you do that?’ I whispered in his ear, while I draw soothing circles with my hand on his back. After a few minutes he calmed down a bit. He took his head from my shoulder and continued, still with tears leaking from his eyes.

‘Cause that’s what happened the last time. You remember what I told you about Zach and Stan?’   
I nodded.   
‘When we were eight we got new neighbors, they had a son, around my age and I took care of him, introduced him to Zach and Stan. After a few weeks they didn’t want to play with me anymore and they replaced me with him. They totally ignored me and it was the worst time of my life. I was devastated. My mom tried to help me and talked to their mums, but they said they couldn’t forced them to play with me. I cried for months and I promised myself I would never ever let that happen to me again.’ He put his head on my shoulders again and he took a deep sigh.

‘Ohh, Louis, I am so sorry you needed to go through that.’ And I tugged him even closer.  
‘But you confused me though. How could you wanted to steal my friends away when you helped me that night and ran after me this morning.’ He said in to my shoulder. ‘No one ever did that for me Niall, no one. And when you snapped at me in that alley I knew you didn’t want to steal anyone from me, but I thought it already was too late and I ruined everything and that I wouldn’t only lost my friends but also you.’ I could still feel his tears soaking my shirt.

I gently took my arms away from his waist and pushed him from my shoulder. I cupped his cheeks in my hands and I forced him to look me in the eyes.  
‘Louis,’ I stated, ‘no one of us is going to leave you okay?’  
‘But I don’t deserve you, look at all the things I did!! And still you came back to check on me, to make sure I was okay. And again I screwed up to asked you to leave. The second you left I knew I made a mistake. I reacted on an impulse and that is why I kissed you at the elevator and I screwed up again.’ He managed to get out of my grip and looked away.

‘Louis, you didn’t screw up, yeah, maybe a little bit, but not enough to scare me away. I will be honest with you, I don’t know what I am feeling right now. But I do know I don’t want to stay away from you, honestly, I don’t think I can stay away from you even if I wanted too.’ I said, shocking myself with the words that came from my mouth. But it was true, there was something about him that intrigued me, that wanted to keep him close.  
He looked at me in shock. ‘Are you sure, you still want to be around me?’  
‘Yes Louis I am sure. But I need time to think though, a lot has happened in a really short time and I need to give everything a place.’ 

He nodded understandably and whispered: ‘Can I try something?’   
He didn’t wait for my answer and slowly leaned to my face, his eyes shifting from my lips, to my eyes and to my lips again. I saw his eyes fluttered close and I did the same. I could feel his warm breath on my lips before they met mine. His lips felt soft but still a bit rough against mine. I could taste the salt of his tears on his lips, but I didn’t mind. We slowly started to move our lips together and I tangled my hands in his hair and I felt his arms around my waist. He tugged me closer to him and let go of my lips. He put his forehead against mine and whispered: ‘Thanks for not giving up on me.’  
‘I won’t ever give up on you Louis.’ I whispered back and for the first time after I met Louis, I saw his smile reaching his eyes, and it was beautiful.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. ‘How is everything going in there? Don’t tell me someone killed the other!!’ I heard Harry’s worried voice.  
I quickly backed away from Louis, my cheeks turning bright red. I totally forgot that the others were still somewhere in the apartment.   
Louis answered Harry. ‘No we didn’t, you guys can come in now, I think we are good.’

I put my chair a few inches away from Louis before Harry and Liam came in.   
‘So you talked everything out?’ Liam asked.  
‘Yes we did’ I told them, hoping they didn’t saw my burning cheeks ‘but I need some time to think everything through, but I think we all can be friends now. Or better, I think we already are friends.’  
Harry and Liam both looked relieved and didn’t mentioned my red cheeks or Louis’ messy hair.   
‘Good,’ Harry cheered, and suddenly more serious ‘next time Louis, you tell us straight away when you feel like this, you understand? You scared the hell out off me!!’ Louis nodded and Harry pulled Louis in big hug. I could see this friendship could never be destroyed, and I smiled to myself.

Liam sat down next to me and nudged me in the shoulder. ‘Are you sure you are okay Niall?’  
‘Yes, I really am.’ I answered ‘But there is one thing, I am really really hungry.’  
I hadn’t even said that and Zayn walked through the door with 3 large pizza’s.

We ate in silence, everyone with their minds on the things that happened today. Zayn shot glances from me to Louis and back to me, having a knowing smile lingering on his lips. I knew he suspected something, but I didn’t want to talk about it now. I didn’t even figured out what exactly happened between me and Louis.

After we were all full, Liam clapped his hands. ‘I don’t know what about you guys, but I am exhausted.’ I looked at the clock and saw it was already 11.30pm.  
‘Zayn, can you give Niall and me a ride back?’ He asked.  
‘Yes ofcourse, what about you Harry? Do you need a ride home?’  
‘No, I am good, I have my own car and I am not sure if I can leave Louis alone.’ He asked, while shot Louis a worried look.  
‘Harry, I am fine, you should go home and sleep, I promise I’m okay and if not I will call you, I promise.’ Louis said.   
Harry shoot Louis one last glance and he sighed in defeat. ‘Okay, I will go home, but you will call me Louis Tomlinson!!’  
‘Yes Harry, I will!! Now if you don’t mind I really like to get some sleep.’ Louis said.  
Louis stood up and walked us to the door. He hugged everyone goodbye, saving me for the last.  
‘Thank you again’ he whispered in my ear while he just hugged me a bit tighter as he did with the others. ‘Is it okay if I call you?’ He asked all insecure again.  
I smiled ‘Is it okay if I call you instead? Cause don’t get me wrong but I need a little space for the next few days.’ I could feel he tensed up and I quickly added, ‘Don’t worry Louis, I will call you, I promised I won’t give up on you, didn’t I?’ I felt him relaxed again and he nodded.  
We pulled away and I saw Harry and Liam where already gone but Zayn was watching us with cautious eyes.  
‘Bye Louis’ I said quietly and walked out.  
‘Bye Niall, Zayn.’ He said and he closed the door.

‘Caring to explain?’ Zayn asked me, popping an eye to me.  
I sighed, I knew this would come. ‘Not now Zayn, I first need to figure it out myself.’  
He nodded understandingly and added ‘But if you need to talk you will come to me okay?’  
‘Okay’ I agreed, not wanting to say more.  
Harry and Liam waited at the elevator and we got in together. The drive home was quiet and when we were at Liam’s and my apartment we said goodbye to Zayn. We walked the stairs together and when I unlocked my door Liam said. ‘Thank you for everything Niall, we couldn’t have got Louis back without your help.’  
‘It is okay Liam, I am glad I could help, I really am.’ And with that said I walked inside my apartment, straight to my bedroom. I took off my shoes, socks and pants. When I wanted to pull of my shirt, I realized I was still wearing Louis’. I decided to keep it on cause I liked the smell of it, even if it still was wet from Louis’s tears. The minute my head hit the pillow I was fast asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, hope you all like it!!

I woke up the next morning with the nagging thing in my mind I was forgetting something very important.   
And suddenly it hit me, it was the first Monday in London for me and that meant I had my job interview today! How the hell could I have forget that?   
I checked the clock and saw it was 8am and I had my interview at 9.00. I flew out off bed and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw I looked like a mess. I groaned in frustration. How could I let this happen? But I knew how and it were two words: Louis Tomlinson. I knew he was bad news and this proved it even more.  
Because of him and his drama I forgot the most important thing! The job interview for being a music teacher at a primary school. If I got this I would be able to earn enough money to stay here, but if I didn’t get it, I would need to look for other work and in the worst case I would need to move back to Ireland. And I really didn’t want that. I came here to prove a point to everyone, but mostly to myself, that I can do anything I want, that I can stand on my own two feet.   
At this moment I promised myself I would not let myself involved again with Louis. I just couldn’t deal with him right now. Not even after the kiss we shared, a kiss I could still feel on my lips, a kiss that felt so good, I still got weak in the knees from it only thinking about it.  
I quickly pushed those thoughts away and jumped in to the shower. After a quick wash I dried myself off and put on the first fresh clothes I saw. I really needed to go to do my laundry, but I hadn’t had the time for it, again because of Louis.  
I made my way over to the kitchen and grabbed some cereal and milk. I had never ate as fast as I did now.  
I didn’t have the time anymore to prepare myself for the interview, and I really could slap myself in the face for that. I grabbed my bag with the little information I had from the school in it. There was also a route in it, but since I obviously didn’t looked up how I could get there by bus I decided to walk. I just hoped it wasn’t that long of a walk and I didn’t get lost.

I grabbed my things and walked out. Just as I closed the door I heard someone next to me. I turned around and saw Liam, also just heading out.  
‘Hey Niall,’ he said surprised. ‘I hadn’t expect you to be awake this early.’  
‘Well I have an appointment for a job interview and I’m already late so I need to go, bye Liam.’  
‘What, you have a job interview? Why didn’t you tell me?’ Liam said.  
‘Really Liam? Like I had the time to tell you that with all the shit that was going on!! I didn’t even thought about it until this morning because of that and now I will be late and probably ruin everything!!’ I now almost shouted.  
Guilt took over his features. ‘I am so sorry Niall. We should have been more considerated about you having to still settle down here.’  
‘Yeah, well, I really need to go now.’ Is said, not showing any emotions.  
Liam sighed. ‘Please Niall, I am sorry okay, can I at least give you a lift?’  
I hesitated for a bit, but if I wanted to be somewhat on time it was the best thing to take his offer.  
‘Okay,’ I mumbled.

And so it happened I only came in 5 minutes late. But they didn’t really mind, cause the two people I had the job interview with, weren’t ready either. The interview only lasted 20 minutes. And after they showed me the school I was outside again. 

I looked at my watch and I saw it only was 10.15am. I decided to walk home and to overthink everything that happened the last few days. I also thought about the interview and when I was finally home again, I had convinced myself, I totally messed that one up. I knew I needed to talk to someone before a full panic attack would hit me, but I didn’t want to bother anyone from home. The best next person to talk to was Zayn.  
Although I knew he suspected something had happened between Louis and I, and I really wasn’t ready to talk about that, I still decided to call him.  
After two rings he picked up the phone. ‘It’s Zayn’  
‘Hi Zayn, uhm, with Niall.’  
‘Hey, man, how are you doing after everything?’  
‘Uhm, can I maybe come over? Or can you come over to me?’ I quickly added when I realized I didn’t even know where he lived.  
‘Is it really important Niall, cause I was about to head out to have lunch with Perrie.’  
‘Uhm, no no it is okay, have fun, bye Zayn.’  
I was close to tears now and I hung up before Zayn could react. 

I needed to get away from those four walls closing me in. Once again I grabbed my jacked and my other things and headed outside.  
I walked for a good hour and a half when I realized I was getting hungry again. I took in my surroundings and noticed I was in central London now. I walked a few more streets before I spotted a Irish pub. I got in and took a seat in the back of it. A waitress with long blond curly hair came to take my order.   
‘Hello there, what would you like to drink?’  
I hesitated for a bit ‘A pint of Guinness and the pancakes with maple syrup please?’  
She looked warily at me, like she wanted to say, are you sure? Drinking this early? But she didn’t, the only thing she said ‘Okay, it will be here in a few.’ and I was thankful for that.   
The pancakes were delicious and it was warm and cozy in the pub. I decided to stay for a bit and I took one Guinness after the other. It became more and more crowed in the pub but I didn’t mind. The beer had my mind clouded and I watched every single person.   
The waitress, which name I learned was Sanne, kept the wary look on her face and it grew into a worried look after I drunk more and more.  
At one point she came sitting beside me. ‘I don’t know you and your problems, but I can see that they are there. The solution isn’t drowning yourself in alcohol you know?’  
I shrugged, I know she was right, but I couldn’t care less right now.   
She sighed and stood up to serve some other customers.

I felt my phone ringing in my pocket and saw it was Zayn. Without thinking I picked it up.  
‘With Niall,’ I slurred.   
‘Niall, thank goodness!! We were worried about you, where are you?’  
I started to laugh, a bitter laugh it was, cause I thought he was too busy with Perrie to worry about me and who are we anyway?  
‘Don’t worry Zaynie me and my beer are totally fine’ I managed to say between another fit of laughter.  
‘He is completely wasted,’ I heard Zayn saying to someone else on the other side of the line.  
‘Niall, where are you, we are going to pick you up!’  
‘What, no, you are not picking me up, and by the way, I don’t even know where I am, beside it’s Irish!!’ And I started laughing again. I didn’t know what was so funny anymore but I just couldn’t stop laughing. I clutched my stomach and dropped my phone on the floor.  
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up in the confused and worried face of Sanne. ‘Care to tell me what’s so funny?’ She asked.  
‘No, no, it is fine, they want to find me, but I don’t even know where exactly I am so how are they going to do that. And I don’t even know who they are expect from Zayn.’ And that’s when it hits me. What if Louis is one of them, what if he will find me.   
I abruptly stood up, but that wasn’t the best idea. I immediately fell back in the chair and everything was suddenly spinning.   
‘What are you thinking you are doing?’ Sanne asked.  
‘I need to go’ I said, no glimpse of the laughing before visible on my face.  
‘I don’t know if that’s the best idea, you can’t even stand proper. What if you give me your phone and I call that friend of yours and tell you where you are?’ She asked, already holding out her hand.  
‘No, no, that is not necessary, I am perfectly able to go home alone.’

‘No you are not!’ I heard someone almost grumbling behind Sanne.  
She stepped away and I my fear became reality. There, in all his fury stood Louis.  
‘You are coming with me Niall!’ He said.  
‘No I am not!’ I felt anger boiling up in me.  
I stood up and almost knocked Sanne over. But Harry was also behind her and he steadied her.  
‘Are you okay?’ He asked her.  
‘Yes, yes, thank you, I need to go now, uhm, to serve other people you know.’ She said, her face turning bright red and she was gone.

‘And for you,’ Harry said, almost as angry as Louis, ‘you are going with us!’  
‘Like I said, I won’t come with you!! You can’t make me, you are not my fucking parents!!’ I shouted.  
I tried to walk away, but I guess I had too much to drink and stumbled in to the table next to mine, all the drinks on there where spilled on the floor and on the people sitting there.  
‘What do you think you are doing!!’ Some of the man spat out, already standing up.  
But suddenly Harry was beside me.  
‘What if I pay you those drinks and another round okay?’ He said to the men at the table.  
‘Get him out of here’ he hissed to Louis.

I suddenly felt his arms taking a stern grip around my waist and he began to drag me out. I wanted to fight him off me, but I knew I would loose and only drew more attention to me.  
When we were finally outside he slammed me to the wall. ‘What the hell were you thinking!!’ He shouted! ‘You know what could have happened to you if we didn’t found you before you had the change to leave?’ His face was inches from mine, his hands on both sides next to my head.  
I looked at him in shock, what the hell was he talking about!! I just had a few beers, I was totally capable of taking care of myself for fucking sake.  
‘Let go off me!!’ I shouted back tears of anger forming in my eyes.  
He noticed and backed away a bit, his face softened. ‘No Niall, I won’t let go of you, I never want to let go of you ever again.’ He whispered. I could feel his breath on my face, the scent of it a mixture of mint and something I couldn’t place. 

I really couldn’t help myself and started to giggle. ‘Louiiiiiiiisss, I can smell your breath, it smells funnyyy.’  
He immediately backed away. ‘Niall, how much beer did you exactly have?’ he said with a stern voice.  
I shrugged, cause I really couldn’t remember it and honestly, I really couldn’t care less.  
He took a deep sigh. ‘Come on Niall, let’s take you home. ’  
That’s when realization hit me. He was here with Harry to pick me up, to drag me home like I was a little kid.  
‘No’ I said, ‘I am not going anywhere, I’m not a kid you need to take care off!! I’m going in again for another drink!!’ And I tried to walk around Louis, but before I even made two steps he grabbed me again.  
‘Niall, you can just walk with me to the car, or I am going to drag you!!’ He growled.  
At this point I was so angry again, that tears started to form and I couldn’t stop them now. I know fighting him wasn’t an option, cause he was much stronger than me and that scared me. So I did the thing I always did when I felt trapped. I let myself sink down the wall, put my knees up, wrapped my arms around them and hide my face in it. I let my tears fell down and I hoped Louis would just disappear. But that didn’t happen. Instead I felt two arms untangling mine and then they lifted me up just a little bit, until I was sitting into something much softer, I realized it must be Louis’ lap. My arms hang loose beside me, my face in the crook of his neck. His arms tightly wrapped around me. At that moment I let everything go. I was crying like never before. It was like all the stress, anger and hurt from the past couple of days, and even from when I was back home in Mullingar, were coming out of me. The only thing what Louis did was holding me, and I thought I never have been holding this tight ever before in my entire life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update again (not even sure if people are actual reading this). I will post all the chapters I've already written today. Hope you enjoy this one.

‘Shhht, Niall, calm down, it’s okay I’ve got you, calm down.’ Louis whispered in my ear while drawing soothing circles on my lower back. But I couldn’t calm down, I really wanted too, but I just couldn’t. The tears were still streaming down my face and the sobbing sounds I was making, were the worsed ever. I lifted my arms up and clung to Louis’ shirt for dear life. My face was still in the crook of his neck when I heard someone gasped behind me.

‘Louis, what happened?’ I heard Harry’s frantic voice.  
‘I don’t know Harry.’ Louis said in a desperate voice. ‘One moment it looked like he was going to fight me and the other he was on the ground crying like there was no tomorrow. I couldn’t just let him sit there alone. It was scary Harry, the face he made when he let himself sank down. It looked like all the happiness was drained for him in that moment.’ 

I stiffened at his words and all of the sudden my sobbing stopped but tears were still streaming down my face.   
What did Louis just said? I vowed to myself that that would never ever happen to me again, but I guess, I failed, again.  
Louis noticed the sudden difference in me and carefully loosened his arms. But I didn’t want him to let go.   
‘No, no please.’ I whimpered.  
And he instantly wrapped his arms around me again.

‘We really should take him home Louis.’ Harry said, worry visible in his voice. ‘I called Liam and Zayn to say we found him and they are on their way with the car, they should be here in ten minutes.’  
‘Can you help us up?’ Louis asked.  
After that I felt two more hands around my waist and I knew it was Harry. He tried to lift me off Louis, but I just didn’t want to let go.  
‘Niall, can you just let go for a little bit, so I can stand up?’ Louis whispered in my ear.  
I released his shirt slowly and I felt how he untangled his arms from me. 

Harry lifted me up and not even five seconds later I felt Louis’ arms around me again. One of his arms supported my bum and the other was securely around my waist. I draped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. And he started to walk with me in his arms.  
I heard Louis and Harry quietly speaking with each other but I couldn’t really understand what they were saying and I really didn’t want to know either. The whole time I was just numb in Louis’ arms. My head once again in the crook of his neck, my eyes still flowing over with tears.

The next thing I knew, I was silently waking up by someone carefully shaking my shoulder.   
‘Niall, wake up, we’re here.’ I recognized Zayn’s voice.   
‘No it’s okay Zayn, let him sleep, I will carry him.’ I heard Louis whisper.  
And I realized we must be in Liam’s car. I really didn’t remember how we got there, but I couldn’t care less. The only thing that matters, that Louis was still holding me.  
‘Are you sure Louis?’ A voice asked I recognized as Liam.  
‘Yes, Liam, I’m sure! I promised I would never let him go and I will keep that promise. Can someone please open the car for me?’

I kept my eyes closes and I heard doors opening and closing. Once again someone else kept me steady, I thought it was Zayn this time, while Louis was getting up. A minute later I felt someone’s breath against my face.  
‘Niall,’ Louis whispered while he wiped the stained tears from my face, ‘I know you are awake, can you wrap your arms around my neck?’  
I did as I was asked and with one swift movement Louis swept me up from the car seat, right in his arms. This time he held me bridal style.  
He brought me inside, while the other three boys followed us, in a serious conversation. I couldn’t hear exactly what they were discussing be I knew it was about me.  
Louis didn’t let me think about it, cause he kept whispering to me: ‘You will be fine, we will be fine. It will all gonna be okay.’

We took the elevator and a minute later we were at my apartment.   
‘Niall, I need to put you down cause you need to get your keys.’ Louis said.   
I hummed in understanding.   
He let me down and I took the keys out of my pocket. I fumbled with them and Louis took them out of my hand.   
Before he opened the door he turned over to the others: ‘I think I can handle it here alone.’   
‘No, we are not letting him alone now.’ Liam said.  
‘He isn’t alone Liam, Louis is with him.’ Zayn stepped in. ‘I think it will be good for Niall to have not too many people around.’  
‘Okay, if you say so,’ Liam said. ‘But you call us when you need us!’ He demanded.  
‘Yes, I will’ Louis answered while he unlocked the door.

‘Come on Niall, let’s get you in bed.’ Louis said and he gently pushed me inside.  
I immediately made my way over to my bedroom. I stripped down to my boxers and got under the covers.  
Louis came after me, and without me having to ask about it, he stripped down to his boxers and slipped beside me.  
Even though I was slightly bigger as Louis, he still wrapped his arms around me and pressed my back to his chest.   
‘Sleep now Niall, I will stay here with you, there is nothing to worry about.’ He breathed in my ear.  
A deep sigh left my mouth as I drifted to sleep, securely wrapped in Louis’ arms.


	16. Chapter 16

The only thing I could feel was my throbbing head when I woke up. I didn’t want to open my eyes cause I was afraid the light would only make it worse. I wondered what I did that make me feel like this. It wasn’t only my head that had me worried, but also my wet pillow, like I cried the whole night. And there was another thing that got me worried, I had the feeling I fucked something up big time, like I failed again. And that feeling scared me the most. 

I tried to think about what happened last night but the only thing that came to my mind was Louis, Louis and Louis. It wasn’t even that uncomfortable, it set me to ease to be honest. Just when something about a pub came to the surface of my mind I heard muffled voices coming from my kitchen. I recognized Louis’ and Harry’s voices. That was the trigger my mind needed, everything from last night came back, some parts a bit blurry but I knew what happened and it got me terrified yet again.

I whimpered in fear about what they would think of me right now. I’m sure they were making a plan of how to get rid of me, how to get me back to Mullingar. Cause who wants someone as pathetic as me around?

The voices became louder and I realized they were walking to my room. I tightened my grip on the sheets and tried to keep my breath steady, but I couldn’t prevent my tears falling from my eyes.

‘Louis, you really look terrible. You should go home and get some sleep, I’ll will stay with him.’ I heard Harry say.  
‘I’m not going anywhere Harry! This is nothing compared with Niall. He even cried in his sleep. He only calmed down a bit when I was whispering to him that everything would be fine. So I stayed awake to make sure he at least wasn’t whimpering in his sleep. I owed him that Harry. I treated him like shit, and he didn’t deserve any of it.’

I was in shock about the things Louis said. I cried even in my sleep? The last time that happened to me was… No Niall, don’t think about that! You came here to escape from that don’t let it come to the surface again!

Before I could think any further my door opened and I was frozen. Maybe they didn’t plan on getting rid of me, but I was so ashamed of everything that happened that I almost wished they would have.

‘I think he is still asleep, so is it okay I will go back to Liam’s and tell them how he is? Will you call or texted me when he’s awake?’ Harry whispered.  
I didn’t hear Louis answer, but I guess he agreed cause I heard the door open again.  
‘One last thing Louis, be careful with him. Not only for his sake, but also for yours. I know you are falling for him and I don’t want neither of you to get even more hurt.’

I could hear how Louis took a deep breath, but before he answered Harry I could hear him closing my door. Louis breathed out and walked slowly to my bed. I really wanted to remain asleep, but I knew I was failing and I was right.

‘Niall, I know you are awake, and I’m sorry you heard that. Can you please open your eyes? I need to know that you are okay!!’ He placed his hand on my cheek and with his thumb he wiped away my tears.

I felt myself relaxing under his touch and that scared me, but I was done fighting it. Maybe I should let him in just a little bit.  
I slowly opened my eyes but didn’t dare to look at him.  
‘Niall’ he sighed, like a big relieve washed over him. ‘Oh, Niall come here.’ He lifted me up with the blankets and all and embraced me in a hug.  
I let him and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I relaxed in his arms and inhaled his scent. Without thinking I placed my lips on the crook of his neck and gave him a kiss there.   
‘Niall, what are you doing?’ He whispered.

But I didn’t listen and I kissed him again at the same spot. I kissed my way up and he gave me space by tilting is head. A quite moan left his lips and I captured them with my own.   
But just when I wanted to deepen the kiss he gently pushed me away.  
‘Niall, I really want to kiss you, I really do. But I don’t think we should do that right now.’

It was like he slapped me in the face, his rejection hurted more than anything else. I thought Harry said he was falling for me? He knew I heard him and he didn’t denied it.  
I flew from his lap in an attempt to take an escape to the bathroom. But all the crying and the alcohol I had the day before made me weak. My knees buckled underneath me and I fell on the ground.

‘Niall!!’ Louis screamed in shock, he was by my side in a second.   
‘Niall are you okay? Come on talk to me!’

‘You don’t care Louis, you never did, don’t pretend you do. You are just playing with me. I can’t do this anymore.’ I cried.

‘Niall, if you think I stayed up comforting you for my own fun you are wrong, I do care about you!’ 

‘No you don’t! You don’t want to be here. You are just here so you can stop feeling guilty for treating me like you did. Please, can you just leave?’

‘No no, it isn’t like that at all. Please believe me Niall!’ He begged. ‘Yes, I am feeling guilty how I treated you, I never should have done that, but I had my reasons, you know I had. I really do care about you. Do you really think I could comfort you like I did out of guilt? I am not leaving until you believe me!’

With that said he picked me up from the ground and placed me on the bed.

‘Leave me alone Louis, don’t touch me! You don’t care, nobody does. Why should anyone care about the stupid gay boy with his stupid dyed hair. Yes people pretend they care, but they just toss me a side when they are done with me. He tossed me aside.’ I whispered the last part.

‘Don’t you dare to ever think that about yourself again!’ He almost yelled.   
’Your sexuality doesn’t define who you are Niall, neither does your hair, which is very cute on you if you ask me. The people who used you are stupid, they don’t deserve you! They don’t deserve such a lovely and caring guy. Cause that is what you are Niall. You are the person who always think about others first no matter what. And I want to be that person for you, I want to think about you first and put myself aside. That’s why I didn’t let you kiss me. I pushed you away because I care. I don’t want you to kiss to escape your feelings, I want you to kiss me because you really want to kiss me.’ At this point he was sitting next to me, holding my hands in his, staring in to my eyes.

I tried to look away, but I couldn’t. His eyes said more to me then words ever could. I knew at that point he was sincere about what he said. 

‘Niall?’ He called me back to earth.  
‘Huh what?’ I stuttered  
‘Did you hear what I asked you?’ He smiled.  
A blush crept on my face as I shook my head. Cause I didn’t hear him, I was too lost in his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes.  
‘I asked you if you would like to go on a date with me.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, pretty please?


	17. Chapter 17

‘W-What did you say?’ I stuttered. I couldn’t heard him right, he didn’t asked that. No one ever asked that, well expect for him. A shiver ran down my spine only thinking about that time, and I really didn’t want to think about that ever again.

‘Niall, you’re all right? You are even paler then before!’ Louis said, concern written all over his face. ‘Niall, come on talk to me, don’t shut me out again!’ He almost begged.  
‘Promise me you are not like him.’ I whispered, looking him in the eye, knowing I only confused him more by this.  
‘Like who Niall? Please tell me like who, what happened to you?’ He grabbed my shoulders, like he was trying to shake an answer out of me.  
‘No, no, I won’t talk about that, please please, just promise me, please.’ I whimpered and again tears started to escape my eyes. 

I really wondered how I still got tears, but on the other hand I really didn’t care at this point. I didn’t care he saw me crying again, that I was begging him for something to say he didn’t even understand, and if it’s my call he would never. 

‘I promise Niall, I promise!! Whatever he did, I won’t ever do it to you. But you need to tell me what happened.’ He said desperate. Desperate to keep me talking. But I couldn’t anymore. I felt my eyes shutting again, ready to drift off in a sleep.

‘Niall, stay with me, come on, stay here with me, open your eyes! Fuck. HARRY, LIAM, HELP.’ I could hear him, but I couldn’t respond, I only wanted to sleep, to get away from this. But Louis kept me awake with his shouting. Eventually it became quite, but it was utterly strange, I didn’t know if I was asleep or awake.

‘Hurry up, please. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. What if I pushed him too much? What if this is a panic attack that I caused? Please help him Harry.’ I could hear Louis cry now.  
I wanted to open my eyes and say everything was okay, I didn’t want Louis to cry, not over me. But I just really couldn’t move, I was just so exhausted, I wanted to sleep so bad but they just wouldn’t let me.   
I wasn’t having a panic attack, I was just so tired, so tired of everything. 

‘Harry, you take Louis out of this room and call Zayn, I will take care of Niall.’ I heard Liam’s stern voice. 

But when I heard that, I did start to panic, they couldn’t take him away from me, he promised he would never let me go.   
I forced myself to open my eyes and mouth, but instead of a firm No, there only came a soft whimper out of me. 

I saw all three of them looking at me, all with a lot of different emotion on their faces. I saw relieve, pity, confusion and sadness. I tried again ‘No’ and I reach my arm out to Louis. He was quickly by my side, sitting at the edge of the bed. With my last strength I wiped his tears from his cheeks with my thumb and whispered ‘I need to sleep.’

I didn’t know how long I slept this time, but when I woke up I didn’t feel tired anymore. I felt my back pressing against a person, arms securely wrapped around my waist and breath tickling my neck.  
I felt relieved, he didn’t left me, he stayed with me and again I could cry. But this time for some strange kind of happiness I didn’t know I could ever feel again.

‘Babe’ Louis whispered. ‘I know you are awake, how are you feeling?’ And his arms tightened a bit more around my waist, like he was scared I would fell in pieces, if he didn’t hold me.  
I wished I could have avoid this conversation for a bit longer, but I knew I couldn’t.

I carefully turned myself around until I was facing Louis, fisting his shirt in my hands. His eyes were full of concern and he pried my hands of his shirt, only to lace them together with his.   
I gave him a small smile to show him I was fine, or at least a lot better than before.

‘Hi’ I whispered, ‘thank you and I’m sorry.’ I dipped my head down, afraid to look at him.   
But he wouldn’t take any of that. He released one of my hands with his, to softly cup my jaw with it. He carefully pushed my head up, until I was facing him.   
‘You have nothing to thank me or apologize for Niall, I just want you to be happy.’ He said, looking me straight in the eye.   
‘Can you tell me what you were talking about earlier?’ He asked me softly, still cupping my jaw.  
I immediately backed away a bit, his hand falling from my jaw. I wasn’t ready to tell him, I didn’t know if I ever was.  
‘Niall, it’s okay, you don’t have to right now.’ And he wrapped his arms around me once again. He pressed me close to his chest. I hid my face in the crook of his neck, trying to keep myself calm. One of his hands was drawing soothing circles on the small of my back well the other hand kept me close to him. 

‘It’s okay Niall, it really is. You don’t have to talk about it if you aren’t ready, but please know I’m here for you when you are.’ He whispered soothingly in my ear.

I took a deep sigh and I realized I haven’t felt so save in a while as I felt now, in this moment in Louis arms, when he continued to whisper soothing things in my ear. I realized I couldn’t let him slip away from me. So that’s why I tilted my head a bit so I was looking directly in his eyes.  
‘Yes,’ I whispered, ‘I really would love to go on a date with you, if you still want that too’

A smile spread on his face, it was the most genuine smile of Louis I had seen so far, the corners of his eyes crinkled and it was the most adorable thing ever.  
‘Of course, I will Niall, of course I will!!’ And he hold me even tighter. Before I could progress what happened, he pressed his lips softly against mine. It was nothing more and nothing less than that, but it shot fireworks through my whole body and I whimpered a bit when he detached his lips from mine.

He chuckled lightly when he looked down at me. ‘I think we should get out of bed, I bet the others are still waiting in the kitchen.’   
I sighed but I know he was right. ‘Okay, let’s go then, should we tell them about us?’ I asked worriedly.  
‘Only if you want to babe, but I think they will figure it out on their own sooner or later.’ Louis said as he kissed my forehead lightly  
I nodded, ‘okay let’s go face them.’

We both got out of bed and I quickly grabbed some clothes, since I was only still in my boxers. When I was ready Louis guided me to my kitchen, with his hand on the small of my back. When we walked in, three pair of eyes shot up. Zayn was the first to react and pulled me in a big hug.   
‘I’m so sorry I blew you off yesterday, I am so so sorry. If it wasn’t for me, this all wouldn’t have happened.’ I could hear the guilt in his voice.  
‘No Zayn, it’s okay, it really is. I am okay now.’ I said while my eyes found Louis’.  
He smiled encouragely at me. I pulled myself out of Zayn’s hug and quickly walked over to Louis. His arm was around me in an instant. 

I took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry guys for what happened.’  
‘No, don’t…’ Harry began, but I stopped him.  
‘Can you please let me finish this?’ I asked. And all the boys nodded. Louis looked questionably at me since he didn’t know what I was going to say, but he only pressed me a little tighter to his side as to let me know it was okay, that I was okay.

‘I’m sorry for the way I reacted when you only wanted to help me. I’m sorry for only being a bother to you guys since I moved here, but most of all thank you, thank you for helping me and saving me in more ways I can explain.’ I felt tears coming to my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry. Before I could continue I felt four pair of arms around me. My back was pressed against Louis’ front, his arms around my waist. Harry was in front of me and Zayn and Liam both on one side of me. It was a bone crushing hug and I loved it. In that moment I realized that maybe everything would turn out okay. It wouldn’t be easy but at least I wasn’t alone.   
Harry, Liam and Zayn let go of me and looked liked they only saw just now how protective Louis was over me.   
Zayn send me a knowing smile: ‘Is there anything you wanted to tell us?’   
I blushed a deep red and looked down at my shoes. I wasn’t comfortable with this subject and Louis noticed.   
‘I asked Niall on a date, and he said yes. We’ll see what happened from there.’ I nodded at what Louis said, but still didn’t dare to look up.  
Liam was the first to speak. ‘I am so happy for you guys!’ And he pulled me in a hug again. ‘But I swear to god Niall’ he whispered in my ear so no one could hear him but me ‘if he hurt you ever again, you tell me and will take care of him.’ I knew it wasn’t necessary, cause I knew Louis would never ever hurt me again, at least not on purpose, but I was glad someone was there for me if he did.

After some more hugs everyone left my apartment, including Louis. But not before promising him I would call him immediately if I felt down or lonely or if I just wanted to talk. 

I felt a happiness I hadn’t felt in long time and for the first time I was in London, I knew I made the right decision to come here.


	18. Chapter 18

A week past and I hadn’t heard anything from Louis. But I hadn’t much time to think about it, because a day after Louis asked me out on a date, I got a call from the school, they told they were very happy to have me as the new music teacher. First I was in shock, because how would they ever wanted me? But I was very happy about it none the less. I could start right away, and that was what I did. It was so much fun to teach those kids, I really loved it.

In the weekend I didn’t do much. I was way too tired from the previous week so I just stayed in and declined the invitation from Liam to grab some dinner. Zayn and Harry both checked up on my by text and I assured them I was fine.  
I just wanted to be on my own for a while. I also called home. My mum wasn’t very pleased about the fact I didn’t call sooner, but I explained to her that I was just very busy. I told her about how I already got four friends, but I didn’t tell her the events that happened between Louis and I. I didn’t want to worry her, and I know she would just do that and then bring up him again. 

So now it was Tuesday. I had another good day teaching the kids. As I opened my door to my apartment, so did Liam’s door open. I turned around to greet Liam, but it wasn’t Liam who came out of his apartment. A blush creped on to my face, turning my cheeks a bright red. I looked down, completing with myself what I should do, rush in into my apartment or talk to him. Gladly I didn’t have to make that decision myself.

‘Hi Niall,’ Louis spoke softly, like he was afraid he would scare me away. I mumbled a ‘Hi’ back.  
‘Uhm, can I maybe come in?’ Louis asked shyly  
‘Ye, Yeah, of course’ and I stepped into my apartment, leaving the door open for Louis to follow me.

We sat awkwardly in the kitchen, both not sure what to say. I knew everything looked just fine a week ago, but since neither him or me texted each other, I didn’t know where we were standing right now.

I still hadn’t looked up to Louis, my eyes fixed on my fingers who played with the hem of my shirt.  
‘Niall, can you at least look at me?’ He said.  
I lifted my head and my eyes where met with his blue orbs. I cached my breath, because I didn’t realize we where this close. 

I got even more nervous then I already was so suddenly stood up, my chair almost falling over.  
‘Uhm, you want something to drink, I have tea, coffee, hot coco or a beer, do you want a beer?’ I rambled while looking into my fridge.

I heard Louis chuckle, ‘Niall calm down, a glass of water will do it. Besides, I didn’t ask you if I could come inside for something to drink.’  
‘Ow’ I slumped down on my chair again. ‘okay.’ I buried my face in my hand, ashamed of my stupid behavior.

‘Stop hiding from me, will you?’ Louis asked, and I felt his hands on my wrist to free my face from my hands.

‘I missed you, you know, I really wanted to give you a call or texted you. But I was afraid you didn’t want to go on a date with me anymore. I just talked to Liam, and he said I was being stupid and if I didn’t call or text you today, he would do it for me. I just don’t want to force you to go out on a date with me. I know you where vulnerable when you agreed to it and I just didn’t want to take advantage of you. But when I saw you back there, I knew I needed to talk to you.’ He finished with a big sigh. 

I couldn’t help the smile that crept on my face. I sure did miss him too. And I also was afraid to call or text. I was surely convincing myself that he had figured out I wasn’t worth his time, let alone worth to take me on a date.

I looked at him, ‘I missed you too, but I thought you found out how pathetic I really am and didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, so that’s why I didn’t texted or called you.’ I looked down again, not wanting to see how he would react.

I heard him taking a deep breath, ‘Niall, you are not pathetic or anything like that!! I would never ever think something like that of you and I’m sorry I made you feel that way.’ 

He tilted my chin up with his finger so I was looking at him again. ‘I promise I won’t ever make you feel like that again, so would you still like to go on a date with me.’

This time I didn’t look down, but I smiled at him. ‘Yes, I still really want that.’  
‘So, how about I will pick you up Saturday at 8pm?’ Louis was beaming now.  
‘Yeah, yes, that sounds good.’ I smiled at him.

Louis went home after that and I was really relieved we talked. It was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders, even though I didn’t even realized it was there in the first place.  
I was in such a good mood, I decided to play a bit again on my guitar. I really haven’t had time to play since the last time when Zayn barked in.

I was just done with the first song, when I heard a knock on my door. I opened it and found Liam and Zayn with big grins on their faces.   
‘So you talked to Louis?’ Liam stated happily when we walked into the living room.’  
‘Yes, I did, he is taking me on a date Saturday night.’ I said shyly.  
‘I’m happy for you man!’ Zayn patted my shoulder. ‘But that’s not entirely why we are here.’  
‘Zayn told my you play the guitar and that you have a great voice! There is small pub we visit regular and we think you should play there.’

I paled at that, never ever in a million years I will go play in a pub, are they out of their minds?  
‘NO, I can’t do that, I won’t do that, ever.’ I told them.  
‘Why not, you are really good Niall, you could earn money with it if someone discover you.’ Zayn pleaded.

‘But I don’t want that, I’m not good enough for that, I only play for myself and for the kids at school. And that’s scary enough! You can drop it now cause I won’t do it, ever, period.’  
They both looked at me in shock, ‘I don’t believe you aren’t good enough, I heard it myself, you are damn good at it!!’ Zayn stated.

‘I said you could drop it now, I won’t do it. And if you don’t mind me, I need to start cook dinner now.’ And I walked into the kitchen, leaving Zayn and Liam baffled behind in the living room. I really didn’t want to be that harsh on them, they didn’t deserve it. But I couldn’t let them convince me, because the last time someone did that, it didn’t end well. And I didn’t want to go through that again, hell, I didn’t even want to think about it.

I heard quite footsteps entering the kitchen. ‘Hey Niall, we are sorry, we didn’t know it was such a touchy subject.’  
I took a deep sigh and turned around ’I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like I did. But please don’t ask me that again.’

Zayn and Liam looked warily at each other and then back to me. ‘Okay, we promise, but why?’. Liam asked.  
‘I don’t want to talk about it okay? Just leave it.’ I spat again.  
‘Okay, okay, we won’t talk about it for now.’ Zayn rushed to say, but why don’t you come with us to grab some dinner.   
I agreed to that, but I also noticed Zayn looking at me like he wasn’t going to let it go, like he knew something big was behind it. It really amazed me how Zayn could read me like an open book, cause this wasn’t the first time this happened.


	19. Chapter 19

The rest of the week passed in a blur. I was really busy with preparing the music lessons when I wasn’t at the school teaching the kids. I also played a lot of guitar myself and I had dinner with Liam and Zayn one more time. I made sure to avoid the topic of me playing the guitar, because I just really wasn’t comfortable talking about it. I knew they, especially Zayn, where dying to talk about it again, but every time it went in that direction I changed the subject. Obviously we also talked about the date I would go on with Louis. They knew more about it than they told me and that was highly frustrating.   
I didn’t hear a lot from Harry. According to Liam and Zayn he was way too busy texting the waitress who kind of looked after me the evening I got shit faced drunk. It is beyond me how he got her number the few minutes they were inside to drag me out. But honestly I really didn’t remember much of that night. And I really couldn’t care less, I was just happy for him. 

Of course I got a few texts from Louis. It was nothing special, just about how my day was. But it was nice knowing he was thinking about me.

But now it was Saturday morning, the day of the date. And saying I was freaking out, was an understatement. The plan was that Louis would pick me up at 8pm, but when I woke up this morning I saw I had a text from Louis, saying there was a change of plans, and now he was already picking me up at 2 pm. And with this morning I meant 11.30 am, which meant I had only 2,5 hours to get ready.

And don’t get me wrong, I really don’t need that much time to do my hair, but we are talking about me going on a date. Not only on a date with Louis, but just a date in general. I haven’t been on a date in ages. And me being nervous is slightly an understatement. Maybe I should just call this whole thing off. There is a big change after all that he really isn’t interested in me anymore after today. And I’m not sure if I’m ready for such a big rejection. So yeah, probably the best thing is just to call him and to say that I can’t do this after all. That it is not him, but me, that I am not ready and that I am sorry. Yeah Niall, you should do that. Or I just can text him and telling him I am sick. But then there is a big change he wants to come over, and I really want that either.

Before I knew it, I had my phone in my hand, typing a text to Louis: ‘Hi Lou, I’m sorry, but I need to cancel today. I’m really not feeling well. I am so so sorry. X’

But before I could sent it, there was a knock on my door. I shot up, and checked the time again, making sure it really was only 11.30am and not 2pm. But it really was 11.30am. I knew for sure it wasn’t Louis, but I didn’t have a clue who else it could be.

‘Niall, are you awake? Open up, we are here to help you to get ready!’ I heard the faint voice of Liam shouting from the front door.   
I could have known one of the guys would come. I only had to convince them that I was sick, and not let them in.

After a few more knocks and shouts and threats of breaking the door, I finally got up from my bed. I draped the covers around my shoulders, to make sure it at least looked like I was cold. I shuffled to the door, but my plan for opening the door on a crack was quickly vanished, because the minute I opened my door Liam barged in with Zayn in tow. 

To say I was baffled, was an understatement. I walked slowly into my kitchen, but there was no Liam or Zayn anymore. Before I could get back to my bedroom, Zayn was standing in front of me with my phone in his hand. 

The look he had on his face was mixed between disappointment and sympathy.   
‘Niall, what is this?’ He asked me quietly but stern. I didn’t dare to look up, my cover suddenly way more interesting. I knew exactly what he was talking about, the text I was about to send to Louis before they interrupted me. 

‘Niall?’ He asked again.  
‘I, I, uhm, I.’ I stammered, still not looking up at Zayn.  
‘Let me guess then, you are scared.’ It was more a statement than a question. And again I had the feeling Zayn was looking right through me. 

I didn’t say anything and that was the only conformation Zayn needed. He gently took me by the shoulders and sat me down on a chair.

‘I can’t do it Zayn, I will disappoint him, I am not good enough for him and I don’t think I can take the rejection.’ I explained and I could see he wanted to roll his eyes at me but he didn’t, which I was grateful for.  
‘Listen to me Niall, I don’t know what kind of shit you went through to make you think so low about yourself, but I swear, you are good enough for him! If you ask me, he must be feeling like the luckiest guy on the planet!’ He said while I was still avoiding his gaze.  
‘So you will get up right now, go into the shower an get into the clothes Liam picked out for you and don’t you dare to argue.’ He was already rushing me out of my chair into the shower. But before he got me that far I turned around and gave him a hug. ‘Thank you.’ I whispered in his ear.  
‘Don’t worry about it, that’s what we are here for.’ And he shoved me into the bathroom.

I showered for like 20 minutes and when I got into my bedroom I put on the clothes Liam laid out for me. I checked myself in the mirror and I was slightly happy about the way I looked. When I walked into the kitchen again, there where pancakes on the table. 

‘Look how fancy you are.’ Liam smiled at me and I could feel my cheeks turning pink.  
‘Uhm, thank you. You guys didn’t have to do this for me.’  
‘Yes we did, otherwise you would be sulking in your bed right now with thoughts who would make you even feel more worse about yourself.’ Zayn told me.  
‘And not to mention the state Louis would be in after getting that text’ Liam continued.  
‘You are not the only one who is scared and nervous for today Niall. He was calling and texting us nonstop the last few days asking what if the date he got planned for you is good enough, what he should wear, how he should style his hair. Trust us when we say he was a nerving wreck, but don’t tell him we told you this, because he will kill us.’

‘But how is he doing now, shouldn’t you be with him? You where his friends first, who cares how I’m feeling, he needs you guys right now!’ I rambled.

‘Stop it there Niall,’ Zayn interrupted me. ‘We are also your friends, doesn’t matter we knew him longer, and second, do you really think we would leave him alone? We have the best man for this case with him, speaking of the devil, he is just calling me. Hey Harry, yeah everything is okay here. We had a bit of a situation but he is okay now.’ ‘…..’ ‘Yes, okay, we will meet you there after we dropped him off. Say hi to Louis and tell him he will get the best date ever.’ ’….’ ‘Yes, I will, bye Harry.’

‘Well, are you ready Niall, we need to go and Harry says hi and you should not worry about a thing.’  
Zayn told me after he hung up on Harry.

‘Wait, what? I thought Louis was supposed to pick me up?’ I asked confused.  
‘Yes he was, but there is a change of plans.’ Liam told me while he was already cleaning up my kitchen table.

Before I really knew what happened, I was in the backseat of Liam’s car next to Zayn. I didn’t bother to ask where we were going, because I knew they wouldn’t answer me anyway.  
After an 30 minute drive, the traffic really wasn’t working with us, Liam stopped the car at the bridge by the London Eye.

‘Well get out Niall, he is waiting for you at the middle of the bridge, have fun and don’t worry, you will do great!’ And before I knew it, Zayn shoved me out of the car and Liam drove away.

Okay, Niall, you can do this, you will just walk to the middle of the bridge, it is just Louis.   
I talked to myself. After a few deep breaths I started to walk. The walk took me way to short, and when I was always there, I wondered what would happen if I would just turn around and ran away. But before I could think of that further, I heard my name.

‘Niall, you are here.’ I turned around and was looking at a bright smiling Louis. The smile that made his eye crinkle and I could look at them for hours straight.  
‘You look absolutely stunning.’ He grabbed my hands and kissed my cheek.  
‘You are looking pretty amazing yourself.’ I blushed.  
He smiled at me. ‘Are you coming then.’ He let one of my hands go, and he laced our fingers together with the other.

‘I hope you like what I planned. Cause if not, you should tell me immediately and we could do something totally different.’  
‘No, I’m sure whatever you planned, I will like it.’ I assured him.

He took me to the London Eye, but to my surprise we didn’t end up in the line. We walked a bit further until we stopped at a dock. I could see a little motorboat lying in the water, with a picnic basked in it.

‘Are you ready for a little boat trip?’ Louis asked me.  
‘Really? Are we going on the Thames with that?’ I beamed?  
‘Yes, you like it?’ Louis grinned.  
‘I love it!! Wanted to do this since I was here. Uhm, not with the picknick basked and as a date of course.’ I started to stammer.  
‘It is okay Niall, I know what you mean. Are you ready to go on board?’ And he lead me to the edge of the doc with his hand on my lower back. He got in first and he held out his hand to help me in.

Louis took a seat by the motor, and I sat in the middle of the boat, facing him. He started the motor and while we were sailing he told me about all the things we saw. After an hour we came at the Tower Bridge. Louis tied the boat up to a dock. After he got the picnic basked and himself out the boat, he helped me out. 

‘I hope you are hungry.’ He told me while he lead me over the Tower Bridge. And after another 30 minutes walk, we were at the Tower of London. We found a nice place at the Park. I helped Louis with the plaid and with unpacking the basked. He made or bought the most delicious things. There was chocolate, donuts, pancakes, sandwiches and even more.

‘Wow, Louis, you really shouldn’t put so much effort in it!!’ I exclaimed.  
I saw his face fell. ‘Don’t you like it?’  
‘No, no’ I rushed myself to say. ‘It isn’t that, I love it, I really do!! But it is way more than I deserve.’

His smile was back in an instant. ‘No Niall, after all I put you through this is the least I can do.’  
‘Let’s not talk about that anymore okay? You explained to me why you acted like that and you showed me that you really care. Can we please, please leave it behind us?’ I pleaded.

‘Okay, if you are really sure.’ He mumbled.  
‘Yes Louis, I am really sure! Can I now taste something of that delicious food you brought us?’  
‘Yes, yes of course! ’ And so we sat down on the plaid.  
The next 20 minutes or so, we spend eating the food. After Louis took a bite from my sandwich, he offered me a bite from his. After that we were only sharing and feeding each other. 

‘Uhm, Niall’ Louis giggled. ‘You have something just above your lip.’   
Before I could put my tongue out to wipe it away, Louis did it with his thumb. His thumb lingered there longer than necessary and it shot shivers down my spine.  
‘Your lips are beautiful Niall.’ He whispered while he was leaning in. He closed his eyes and I followed his example. Butterflies where going wild in my belly. I know we kissed before, but this was different. No one of us was in a vulnerable state, it was on a real date and we both wanted it. Before I could think about it more, his lips met mine.


	20. Chapter 20

‘Hey look at them!’ I heard someone say. ‘Eww, get a room, no one want to see two blokes kissing!!’ I jerked away from Louis and looked in shock at the two guys staring at us.  
‘What did you just say?’ Louis was up to his feet in seconds, looking furious.  
‘Oh, look, atleast one of them has balls.’ One of the guys snickered. 

‘If you don’t shut the fuck up right now, I promise you, you guys are the ones with no balls left!’ Louis said to gritted teeth, his hands clenched next to his body, trembling from how angry he was.  
I thought I have never saw him so angry, not even at me, and that scared me a bit.

‘Louis,’ I spoke quietly, ‘just lets go okay?’ I got up and was grabbing his arm.  
‘Don’t Niall!!’ He snapped. I backed away instantly. Louis knew he made a mistake and quickly turned around to face me. ‘No, Niall, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.’ He pleaded with me.

In the meanwhile a little crowd was forming around us, the two guys who started it were backing away, but not before one of them mouthed to me ‘I will get you guys later.’ A shiver ran down my spine and I was glad Louis haven’t saw it. Because I knew I wasn’t able to hold him back if he did saw it.

‘Niall, please, I didn’t mean it, please. And what the hell are you all looking at!!’ He glared at the little crowed surrounding us. 

I knew he didn’t want to snap at me, he was protecting me, or better, us, for god sakes!! So I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He wrapped his arms around me immediately, holding me close while whispering how sorry he was and that’s everything is okay now.

‘Can we please go home?’ I asked him quietly.   
‘Don’t let them get to you Niall!! We have every right to kiss in public like everyone else!’ He whispered in my ear.  
I buried my face in his neck, because I knew he was right, but I just didn’t want to be here anymore with those guys still hanging around. I shivered when I thought about the threat one of the guys mouthed to me.

I guessed Louis noticed it because he only hold me tighter while he spoke in my ear: ‘Ofcourse we can go, just let me pack everything okay and you have to let go off me for a bit.’ He carefully unwrapped his arms and I stepped back. 

He quickly put everything back in the basked and grabbed my hand, ‘Lets get you home babe.’  
He got he phone from his pocked and dialed a number. ‘Hi, it Louis’ ‘….’ ‘can you please pick us up?’ ‘….’ ‘No, something happened.’ ‘…..’ ‘We tell you guys when you get us, just hurry okay?’ ‘…..’ ‘Yes, I promise!! He’s only a bit shaken up.’ ‘….’ ‘Okay, see you at the Tower Bridge.’ And he hung up.

‘That was Harry’ He explained to me. ‘We are going to walk back to the Tower Bridge and they will pick us up there, okay?’ I nodded and we walked to the Tower Bridge in silence.  
We didn’t have to wait long before Liam’s car pulled up. Zayn was sat in front next to Liam and Harry was in the back seat. Louis let me in first and when he closed the door in curled up in to him.

‘What the hell happened!’ Zayn demanded. ‘Lets go home first okay?’ Liam interrupted.   
The car ride was silent, Louis rubbing soothing circles into my back and Zayn and Harry giving us worried glances.

We parked in front of my and liams building. We all got out and walked to my apartment. Me and Louis sad down on one couch while Liam and Zayn sad on the other while Harry was busy making tea in the kitchen. I felt a bit uncomfortable with all the eyes staring at us. 

‘So, what happened?’ Liam asked, breaking the silence. ‘Yes, why does Niall looks like he saw a ghost?’ Zayn joined in. At that moment Harry walked in with five mugs of steaming hot tea. He passed them out and sat on the ground, with his back to the couch Liam and Zayn were sitting.  
‘Yes, can you please tell us what happened? You scared us a bit.’ Harry said.

‘Well, ‘ Louis started ‘I kissed Niall.’  
‘What did I tell you about doing things he is no ready for!!’ Liam yelled angry!! I saw Louis got pale and I could tell he was for once at a loss for words.  
‘He didn’t do anything against my will!!’ I quickly defended him. ‘I actually quite enjoyed kissing him.’ I felt my cheeks turning pink and I hid my face in the crook of Louis’ neck.  
‘Oh okay, I’m sorry Louis, I shouldn’t have doubted you and yelled at you.’ Liam apologized.  
‘No you shouldn’t have,’ Louis shot back. ‘So like I said I was kissing Niall and suddenly two idiots came yelling at us how disgusting it was that we were kissing.’ I could feel Louis was getting angry all over again and I tried to calm him down by playing with the hairs in his neck and it helped a bit.

‘What the fuck!! Who does those bastards thing they are!!’ Harry said.  
‘Yes, that’s what I thought!! And I was trying to make it clear to them, and I maybe scared Niall a bit off with that. And no, I didn’t hurt anyone!! There were people coming to check out if everything was alright and when I was done assuring Niall it was okay, those two pricks were gone.’ Louis finished the story. I nodded my head to tell them that’s was the truth.

But Zayn wouldn’t be Zayn without noticing Niall didn’t tell them everything. ‘Something else happened, right Niall’ He said more as fact then an answer. ‘And I bet you haven’t told it Louis either.’ I looked down, letting go off Louis and playing with the bottom of my shirt.

‘One off the guys mouthed at me they would get us another time.’ I mumbled, not sure if someone even heart me. But by the movement next to me I knew Louis did. He got up and stormed to the hall, but Liam and Harry were up and holding him before he could go. 

‘Let go off me, I’m going to find these pricks and beat the shit out of them!!’ He said trough gritted teeth.  
‘No you are not.’ Harry told him. ‘You are staying here with Niall, how would you thing he would feel if you left him now? You need to be there for him right now!!’   
‘I agree with Harry.’ Liam stated, ‘But don’t worry Louis, if we are out and you see them, we make sure they get what they deserve!!’ 

‘Okay okay, you can let go off me.’ Louis said while trying to get out of their grip. They let go and he was right next to me in an instand.  
‘I am sorry Niall, I didn’t want to leave you.’ He said sincerely.   
‘I know Louis, can we just not talk about it for now and just cuddle and watch a movie and order pizza?’ Louis chuckled at that. ‘Of course we can babe.’ He snuck his arms around me again to put me between his legs. I rested my head on his chest and sighted in contentment. 

‘So, uhm I guess we will leave you again then, now all is settled.’ Zayn said.   
‘No you don’t have to go, you can watch a movie with us, if you pick out the movie and order the pizza’s at least if that is okay with Louis.’ I said, thinking it is not fair to send them away now. And luckily Louis agreed. 

The rest of the day and night was spend with watching movies and eating pizza’s, me securely wrapped up in Louis’ arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I have written so far. For the next chapter I really would like to hear what you guys want to happen. Thank you for reading.


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